Author Topic: Drawing the line with the x?  (Read 1589 times)

arneal

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    • The Starving Activist
Re: Drawing the line with the x?
« Reply #30 on: June 26, 2017, 11:51:55 AM »
Seems the ability to 'like' a post is gone again  ::) CaptainsWife -- consider what you said 'liked'  ;D
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

daysofelijah

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Re: Drawing the line with the x?
« Reply #31 on: June 29, 2017, 08:36:40 AM »
Sorry I can't seem to like everyone's posts anymore. I appreciate all the comments. I even let NG read my initial post and gave him a brief summary of the responses. We have had a couple good talks since the original event and I think we are coming to more of an agreement on things.

He sees that "X" stuff makes me uncomfortable and he is trying. Actually she has seemed to back off since he told her no about fixing her car. So maybe it will pass. Or maybe now that we have talked more about it I won't be so overly emotional when things do come up.

He really wants to know how to deal with things the right way and not cause me any hurt. He tells me again and again that I am the only woman he wants, that he will fight for me, he would never go back to someon who hurt him like she did, etc. I need to let go of insecurities and believe what he says, because I really do think that is how things are. Like I said I have just never had to deal with X's before and he has soo much more of them than I ever had. (Another insecurity of mine).

So really a lot of this is because we have so much different pasts. We are so good together though and very much in love, so I am learning to trust myself and trust him. It's hard, but I believe it will be worth it.
Amy, mom to four (14,13,9,5)

jgib

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Re: Drawing the line with the x?
« Reply #32 on: June 29, 2017, 11:18:15 AM »
Trust and believe....it is worth it....

Bunny

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Re: Drawing the line with the x?
« Reply #33 on: June 29, 2017, 01:02:24 PM »
Once, in the beginning of our relationship, my boyfriend was teasing me about a woman (happens to be younger and thinner than me) who has a big ol' crush on him, telling me I better watch out! My response? 'If she can take you, she can have you.'  It's not the easiest place to always reside in, but when you have enough faith and security in yourself then you stop worrying about anyone 'stealing' your man. Seriously- if they can be stolen away, you are much better off without them anyway. So worrying about it becomes a fruitless activity. (Incidentally, he loved my response.)

Also- it's better if they have a good relationship with the ex rather than a really shitty one. Soooo much better.
It is a fearful thing to love what Death can touch.

Metv

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Re: Drawing the line with the x?
« Reply #34 on: June 29, 2017, 02:39:00 PM »
Trust shouldn't have to be stipulative to receive it.  Very good points ^^^
« Last Edit: June 29, 2017, 02:41:30 PM by Metv »

jgib

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Re: Drawing the line with the x?
« Reply #35 on: June 29, 2017, 03:42:01 PM »
Bunny, my thoughts exactly.  If he doesn't want to be with me ahead of all others, I have no interest in being with him.  A philosophy I have always lived by.

fairlanegirl

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Re: Drawing the line with the x?
« Reply #36 on: June 29, 2017, 04:46:16 PM »
Second that Bunny. My daughter was playing Dolly Parton's dreadful (but annoyingly catchy!) song 'Jolene' on youtube the other night and I said just remember, no one ever 'steals' a person who really doesn't want to go. Though it's a great track in terms of raw emotion, ol' Dolly's singing to the wrong person, and how much of a catch is the fellow anyway?!

In saying that, I have seen people driven away by constant illogical jealousy and insecurity. 'Well if they think I'm up to no good, i might as well be' syndrome I guess.

kjs1989

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Re: Drawing the line with the x?
« Reply #37 on: July 05, 2017, 11:52:03 PM »
DOE,

I get this. She sounds quite similar to NG's ex in some respects, always finding a reason to text him about random stuff. His daughter is 23 and son 16. They are perfectly capable of communicating directly with their dad without her being the go-between.

Her texts range from accusatory, nagging, and controlling...."you didn't do this.....you need to do that....why don't you this.....why don't you that....you never this...you never that.... you're a terrible dad...I hate you...."

Then, just the other night she flipped to...."Oh, thank you so much for taking care of that.....you always say the right things... you always know just what to do....you're such a great dad...love you...."

For real, she said, "Love you." They have been divorced since 2008. She filed papers while he was on a rare golf trip and called to surprise him with the news. Then she took the kids and moved in with a dude  as soon as the ink was dry.

NG just rolled his eyes.

Blech.

Yeah, I am with you on this....car repairs....house repairs....libido repairs....JUST NO.
« Last Edit: July 05, 2017, 11:55:19 PM by kjs1989 »

Metv

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Re: Drawing the line with the x?
« Reply #38 on: July 10, 2017, 12:29:53 AM »
[quote JUST NO.
[/quote]

Totally agree.