Author Topic: I don't cry anymore...  (Read 550 times)

still_lost

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I don't cry anymore...
« on: July 05, 2017, 11:07:51 PM »
I cry when I think of all that I've lost over the past eight years. My life could never be the same. I hurt for me, my husband, and my son who will never get to know his daddy. I've realized now that I don't cry when I look at his pictures anymore. I'm kind of sad about that. What does it mean and has anyone else experienced it?

BrokenHeart2

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  • Widowed 2013
Re: I don't cry anymore...
« Reply #1 on: July 06, 2017, 02:40:25 AM »
Hi ST
I don't cry anymore when I look at DH picture.  For the longest time I couldn't even look at it because that's all I would do is cry.  I'm thinking it may be acceptance that yes this is real, he is gone. 
I now get a warm feeling when someone recalls a memory of him (unfortunately that doesn't happen enough) or see a picture of him. I do still have my sad times but they aren't as low or as long as they were early out.  I didn't know if that deep dark feeling would ever lighten and it seems to be happening and for that I am thankful. 
Early out when someone would tell me it wouldn't always be that way I couldn't imagine it not and bothered me.  What I've realized is that at some point though we need to turn and look towards the future and try to rebuild our lives and not let our significant loss be our major focus.  Kind of like what my signature says.
I guess that's what it means to me.
Hugs.
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.

imissdow

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Re: I don't cry anymore...
« Reply #2 on: July 06, 2017, 03:57:38 PM »
I rarely cry when I look at his pic, don't know that I ever did more often then not I have a sad smile.  He was a great man taken much to soon. However I'm so glad he was in my life for the short period of time he was.  He totally changed the world for me and my girls. Our lives would have been totally different without him. It's been 6 years sadly the only ones who still talk about him are my kids and i.i still miss him.

piecesofapart

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Re: I don't cry anymore...
« Reply #3 on: July 16, 2017, 07:15:39 AM »
I've always kept his pictures up. It makes me feel like he is still here. I cried while looking at them in the beginning...I have the video of photos on a CD that the funeral home created...can't get thru that without crying...as it's photos from almost every year of his life, plus special occasions.

Now almost 4 years. I don't cry looking at the photos I have out anymore- it makes me happy and proud I had such a handsome loving husband...it's comforting and part of what I want to have in my home.

However, I went to my nieces wedding about a year ago- and she had a table with all those who crossed over ...sadly the table was full of photos. From those gone many years to those recently. I was sad to see the pictures- but it was nice to see the photos of loved ones looking their best with smiling faces.

Near the end unexpectedly there was a photo of my husband (her uncle..last of the family to cross over to that point). I just burst into tears when I saw it- - it hurt so bad that he was not physically there. I was so touched and honored that my niece chose to include him.

You just never know when it's going to hit you...no rhythm or reason or exact handbook about how the grief process will unfold. I've learned to make peace with it...it's part of my emotions and being now..I just take it as it comes.

Lisa

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Re: I don't cry anymore...
« Reply #4 on: July 16, 2017, 02:34:19 PM »
It has been 8 years. I rarely cry at all now. The only pictures that make me cry are the ones with the little ones who are grown now. I aalways have tears. So much has been missed.
Don't judge yourself.
"All the waves must reach the shore before the water calms"-Ray ♡

maddalena

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Re: I don't cry anymore...
« Reply #5 on: July 16, 2017, 07:26:44 PM »
Right after my husband died, I printed out and framed many photos of him and hung them up all over the house. I still needed to see his face. Almost 5 years later, I am remarried and half of those pictures are still up on the wall. They don't make me cry, they make me smile. I'm them, he is happy and full of life. The way I want to returner him