Time Frame > Newly Widowed (1 day to 6 months)

A Month Since He's Been Gone and the Loneliness Is Setting In

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Christopher:
The loneliness goes away for some who find friends to be a good enough substitute.

For others it never goes away. We still have that need in our life.

See if friends and companionship will do it for you and don't forget to take care of yourself. I would have starved to death during the first months and been completely unaware it was happening if I didn't have a 5 year old boy asking for food regularly.

Helena:
My husband died two years ago in a heart attack, 36 years old. Totally unexpected and the first weeks and months were pure emotional turmoil. Two years out I can tell you it will get better. Eat, drink and cry (and scream if you feel like it) -that is my advice right now. Hugs from Sweden.

Ginger1210:
Hugs to you Courtney. It has been five months for me and the loneliness is still unbearable. Like you I am an only child, I am not sure what your experience of that was but I was always so independent before meeting my man. I never had a problem being alone and it is disorienting for me now to feel so lonely and constantly afraid to be without him. We were together for over four years and did nearly everything together. I am having such a hard time now doing things on my own. Work is the only part of my day that feels "normal" because I am used to him not being at work with me, it's the only part of my routine that has stayed the same without him.

I am not technically a widow either, we were engaged when he was diagnosed with cancer and realized very quickly that we were better off financially if we didn't get legally married so we were never able to make it official. Some people in our families don't choose to recognize me as his widow but it makes those who have been supportive all the more important to me.

IAYoungWidow:
I too, lost the love of my life, my husband of 15 years, just one month ago.  I can tell you that I feel many of the same feelings that you do.  My daughter was here with me for the past month, but she has gone back to FL to her own life and career, so I get the loneliness - it truly does suck. 

I plan to continue to be around this site and hope that it helps me to cope and continue on with my life.

Chilena:
I also lost my husband a month ago.  I am blessed with an amazing extended family and a few close, great friends who check on me almost every day.  I was doing really well until this last week.  I was even able to give the eulogy at his funeral mass, if you can believe that.  I am finding it very hard to get up and get dressed, especially since it is 26 degrees and snowing right now. But I have prior experience with depression, so luckily, I know what to do.  If one of my friends is going out, I go with them, even if it just to the grocery store or to run errands.  This forces me to get up and get dressed and speak to another human.  I keep protein shakes and bars and eat at least that.  I have found that I am more likely to fall into the long "ugly crying" jags in the evening when I'm tired, so I take my meds and go to bed early.  I just found the site "Meet up", which lists groups in your area based on common interests like cooking or singing, or practicing a language, anything, really.  I am going to try to go to a couple of those meetings, even if my heart isn't in it yet.  It is strange how I will be cruising along ok and then missing him acutely strikes my heart.  This has happened during mass (church) the last three weekends, where I just can't stop crying.  I'll keep doing my best, and thanks to all who have posted, I know it will get better.

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