Author Topic: The house and WTF  (Read 1211 times)

BrokenHeart2

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  • Widowed 2013
The house and WTF
« on: July 11, 2017, 04:33:34 PM »
So I finally did it.  Today I had my second visit with the lawyer, signed all the papers and the house is in my name only now.  On the way home I felt like I have betrayed him by taking his name off the deed.  How insane is that?  I cried all the way home.  WTF, it's been a bit over 4 years and I'm still feeling this crazy shit. As hard as it's going to be, I am even more convinced that it will be good for me when I sell and find a house in town.
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.

Trying

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Re: The house and WTF
« Reply #1 on: July 11, 2017, 08:15:19 PM »
I remember crying at the DMV when I took his name off of the car and boat.  I get it.
You will forever be my always.

Bunny

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Re: The house and WTF
« Reply #2 on: July 11, 2017, 08:49:00 PM »
Yup. Totally cried when I took his name off the vehicles.

Congrats on getting it done...
It is a fearful thing to love what Death can touch.

Needytoo

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Re: The house and WTF
« Reply #3 on: July 12, 2017, 05:39:34 AM »
I had a hard time with that as well. Hugs to you.

Metv

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Re: The house and WTF
« Reply #4 on: July 12, 2017, 11:31:58 AM »
BH glad all went well. I never took DW off the deed. As far as my lawyer said as long as I have the death certificate and surrogate letter it can be done by notary at closing should I sell. Too much has been going on, and everybody seems to want $$ for changing it to my name only. I've done extensive work on it (the house). As far as upkeep and repairs. Seems it's a never ending struggle when widowed and all the things we have to do. Don't ever feel guilty, I'm sure it will make things easier should you sell and move. And for me it adds to the bucket list. Dumb thing I gotta do.

MR

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Re: The house and WTF
« Reply #5 on: July 12, 2017, 11:57:04 AM »
I removed her name from deed (I was forced by insurance company as incase of damage money will go in estate etc). Removing her name from bank account, her company etc was emotional pain but had to do it more I prolong more painful it might be.

Wheelerswife

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Re: The house and WTF
« Reply #6 on: July 12, 2017, 12:27:20 PM »
I'm moving out of our house (will be renting it for now) and closing our joint checking account.  I think the deed is in my name now...I should check.  My lawyer was supposed to do that 3 years ago.

Sigh.

It's all hard.

Maureen
Life is short.  Love with all you've got. 

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BrokenHeart2

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Re: The house and WTF
« Reply #7 on: July 12, 2017, 01:21:49 PM »
Thanks folks.  Yeah it is hard. I guess I just didn't expect my reaction and it took me for a loop. I do feel better that it is finally done!
Hug to you all!!
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.

JeanGenie

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Re: The house and WTF
« Reply #8 on: July 13, 2017, 05:21:36 AM »
BK2,
I'm sorry this hit you so hard. It still amazes me at 4 years out what triggers the tears, but then again, I'm guess I'm not surprised. This instance at least makes sense to me...removing his name from one more thing. Just like that...so easy, so sad.

So, DH's name is still on the house, bank account, cable bill, phone, and electric. Was I supposed to change these? Oops!
I miss how happy I was with you.

sojourner

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Re: The house and WTF
« Reply #9 on: July 13, 2017, 11:35:42 PM »
Feeling it with you, bk2. It hit so hard, taking his name off our life together, basically. Alot of it I had to do early on, for economic reasons, which was an extra twist of the knife. But some things continue to come up, and every time something new comes up, it can hit me like he just died this morning. Sucker punch out of nowhere, and I'm back there in the darkest of the dark times again, for that moment. I'm at just over 3 years now.

swilson

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Re: The house and WTF
« Reply #10 on: July 14, 2017, 06:24:17 AM »
{hugs} BrokenHeart2. When it was time to order new checks with my name only, I remember thinking that it erased one more thing connecting us as a couple.
~ she's gone to Heaven so I've got to be good, so I can see my baby when I leave this world ~

Jennica

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Re: The house and WTF
« Reply #11 on: July 14, 2017, 08:33:11 AM »
Swilson, you said it. It's like everything we have at some point it needs to change which makes at least me feel like I have to move on. I had to get a new fridge. It's just a fridge but he picked it out. He would always go big. When I picked out the new fridge I thought about what he would pick then I decided to be realistic. We don't eat a lot of meat or leftovers. We do not need an ice maker. Just a basic new fridge. It stinks but it's just a fridge. Still stinks though.
I hated taking his name off the deed too. I was advised to due to anything in his name that could possably place a lien on the house.

mmg19

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Re: The house and WTF
« Reply #12 on: July 15, 2017, 09:38:34 AM »
BK2  I understand so well.  I found comfort in seeing and knowing his name was on our jointing held assets.  Every removal was a trigger for the tears. 

klim

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Re: The house and WTF
« Reply #13 on: July 18, 2017, 10:05:37 AM »
I hate paperwork and all the name changeovers take paperwork so I do as little as possible......only when a company forces me to will I bother, and even then I fight them.

The latest was when I had to renew a mortgage. The bank said I needed to change over the deed and to reapply for a new mortgage under my own name. I replied that my lawyer had told me that I didn't need to change the deed until I sell. I said I believed the lawyer more then them.

   And then I  continued and said if they had any doubt whether I could handle the mortgage payments on my own that they should look through their records for the last 4 years because that's how long I'd been doing it!
They still said I needed to change things...I said to the lovely mortgage lady , lets try to put the application through as is,with both names still there and to maybe add a note of explanation. Guess what it went through. :)

An apology to any of you that work at this type of work I am the thorn in your side type of client(but I'm never angry or belligerent, just a little pouty and sarcastic)
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BrokenHeart2

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Re: The house and WTF
« Reply #14 on: July 18, 2017, 02:06:28 PM »
Way to go klim!! Don't you just love when these stupid corporations try to dictate to you what should be done.  I'm glad to hear that you like to buck the system (yes, I meant to put a b there LOL)  I will be selling so I figured I may as well get it done.
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.