Socializing > Relationships/Remarriage

Navigating the waters of new relationships when SO has limited child time

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trying2breathe:
Glad that your mom is at rest now, and good that family is there.  Hugs to you and peace in the days ahead. 

Abitlost:
My condolences, tybec. Losing a parent is tough, even if it's natural and expected.

Wishing you peace,

abl

tybec:
Thank you for the condolences, all.  I know I not a crying mess, but grieving.  I am moody and anxious.  Out of sorts as not having a service at this time makes for no ending of this.  I have posted the obit to be placed in the papers of her hometown, my hometown of 23 yrs. where she worked. I expect the holidays to be sad.

I moved her to this new town for care in March and here we are, 8 months later, and she has died.  I have lived here 3 months. NG lives here, also.  We are figuring out our new lives living in the same town versus the long distance dating.

We changed plans with moving in due to his circumstances with his children and custody.  That has been a very good choice, to wait.

Well, he has tagged me here and there on FB when we do activities together.  We haven't posted a picture together yet, my decision.  I have been fickle about acknowledging us as a couple on FB.  Not sure why.  He has said he didn't need it but would do so if I wanted.  I wanted to wait until I moved here.  Well, then I wanted to wait longer for some reason.  Well, I brought it up  a couple days of go, and he again said he would do so if I needed to have it.  I, of course, did not want to publicly state that, feeling it was a bit juvenile but also wanting it some way.  I know, emotional.  Well, he just did it last night.  I have a long list of folks making comments, congratulating us.  He does as well.  It is just strange, this media world.  I am still feeling mixed about it.  Why did I need it?  Why did I not want to? But then was ambivalent. OM, these feelings.

Trying:
The grief for you mom won't look like the grief for your DH but don't minimize it.  Be gentle with yourself during this time and be patient with the mood swings and emotions. You have had quite a year with selling your home, moving, being a caregiver for your mom, navigating a new relationship and now your mom's death.  It's probably not a great time to analyze your relationship with NG with any real clarity.  Take what support he can offer but take care of yourself.  We can be strong and fragile at the same time.

tybec:
Trying,

Thank you for your wise words.  I agree.  I just need to be for a while.

 I do have legal things to take care of, and I start my new job in Jan., as they were willing to wait.  I have 3 brothers, and I foresee some challenges in the future decisions I didn't anticipate.  I have taken care of my mom for the 10 yrs she lived in my town.  And now we have a family farm between us.  Oh boy.

I am thankful my son seems to be adapting well here.  We ate lunch with a mom and kid he bunked with at camp before moving here.  His friend lost his dad to cancer a few years ago, plays the same instrument in school, is on the same academic track (mom is a professor here at the regional university).  I don't believe in coincidences and the fact my son befriended this teen and now we attend the same church in the same town is wonderful.   

Thank you again.  You have wise words.


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