Author Topic: Finished cleaning out his closet today  (Read 236 times)

JeanGenie

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Finished cleaning out his closet today
« on: July 23, 2017, 04:36:17 PM »
It's been 4 yrs, 3 months, so it's about time. But I thankfully could ignore this until I was ready. It was time to finish this and claim the space for my own. I did an initial cleaning a year or two ago. He was a pack rat and unfortunately had a large closet. I think I got rid of 4-5 bags of clothes then. How could one man have so many clothes? Two weeks ago I bought myself some shelving that I would put in his closet and then unpack totes of my clothes...only after I cleaned it all out.

Yesterday I avoided it by cleaning out and organizing my closet instead. But today I needed to attack this beast. I was going to get it done and then reward myself with an early evening away. There was only one moment of brief tears as I took photos of a suit and two shirts from the days before he even met me. They were special to him and he held onto them. I took photos of his work shirts with his name on them and then put them in the trash. Just so easily tossed...just like a life so easily ended. Things he wore that reminded me of him; things he bought that still had tags on them never having a chance to wear them...the remainder of his life just tossed into bags.  Another 5 bags now sit in my garage waiting to be donated. I feel like I have HIM in those bags.

A heaviness weighs on me now. No more tears, just physical and emotional exhaustion. But I'm happy with the "new" closet and my clothes organized on the new shelves.  I did keep some things for me to wear when working in the yard or to bundle myself in during cold winter months. As I close the closet door I realize I'm closing the door on another part of my previous life. Just another step in the process.

I still have his tools to go through in the garage and workshop. THAT will be less emotional (at least I hope). All in due time though...all in due time.
I miss how happy I was with you.

BrokenHeart2

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Re: Finished cleaning out his closet today
« Reply #1 on: July 23, 2017, 06:19:21 PM »
Way to go JG.  Yes it is another difficult thing to do and glad to hear you got through it relatively ok.  You struck a cord with me about the suits, tags on clothes and the names on his work shirts.  Yup, sounded like my DH's closet.  I too kept some of his clothes to wear as well.  Loved his flannel shirts lol although way to big on m they are comfy on those cold nights.
Another step in the process and we all do it in our own time.
Hugs to you.
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.

Wheelerswife

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Re: Finished cleaning out his closet today
« Reply #2 on: July 23, 2017, 07:35:14 PM »
Hugs, Jeanne.

These tasks can hold so much over us, eh?  Fortunately, I have always found that after I let go of things, I feel some burden lifted from me.

I have done these tasks twice now, but that didn't really make it any easier.

You won't forget him, even though you continue to dismantle some parts of his life.

Take care!

Maureen
Life is short.  Love with all you've got. 

Barry 11/29/55-9/22/09       John  1/16/57-1/11/14

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BrokenHeart2

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Re: Finished cleaning out his closet today
« Reply #3 on: July 23, 2017, 08:07:20 PM »
So eloquently said Maureen!! Thank you!
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.

Julester3

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Re: Finished cleaning out his closet today
« Reply #4 on: July 23, 2017, 09:34:08 PM »
Just wanted to offer a hug...it's a huge step. I did a first purge of my husband's clothes and shoes but not a complete one yet. The kids and I are not ready.