Time Frame > Shock Wears Off, Reality Sets In ( 6 to 12 months)

This Time Frame Gets Quiet

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I'm in the 8 month mark, and I feel like a zombie.
 Numb to my new reality. I don't ever think life will be sweet for me but, I can appreciate the beauty in nature.

I remember eight months being really hard for me.  Going through the motions, still in deep grief on the inside.  And I too looked to nature for my small comforts.  Even with a rebuilt life six years later, I still do.  I tried to take refuge in simplicity and simple things. 

I'm at the 8 month mark as well. It just seems to get harder to accept and deal with. I also am shocked to see how his family has left us on our own. Our newborn was 10 weeks old when my husband was murdered and everyone made so many promises to us and my teenage son from previous relationship... "You're family, we lost 1 but gained 3", "you will never need anything, we'll take care of you", "we promised Sam we would always have your back"... In my case all of those promises proved to be empty within a few weeks of losing him, but now 8 months longer and I am struggling so much with the disappointment I feel towards them... 8 months in and I feel more lost than when it was just yesterday... I feel I will never stop hurting, I will never feel whole again... I am thankful for my 2 boys but also feel I am failing them for being in such a deep and dark depression... This is the absolute hardest thing I have ever gone through and I feel more alone than ever right now.

Things certainly do look different once the shock is gone.

Yes things certainly did for me look so very differently around that 8-9 month time frame.  It was very dark,lonely and painful time and place.  There was a statement on YWBB that I read and helped to sustain me at the time.
"If you're going through hell, just keep going"   Winston Churchill.
I realized that I wasn't alone in hell and others kept going and so can I and you can too.  Keep going.  It didn't stay that hell for me and I pray it doesn't for you.  You can do this and you're not alone although you probably feel at many times that you are.  We are here to listen and help how we can.  I don't know what I would have done without all the amazing caring people here that helped me survive hell.
Hugs to all of us. XO


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