Author Topic: It seems like after so long nothing changes  (Read 464 times)

Flman

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It seems like after so long nothing changes
« on: August 11, 2017, 08:37:58 PM »
It's been a while for me but life has seemed to stop. Nothing changes . I go to work then home. Same everyday. I've closed off all my doorways so I don't get hurt anymore. Sometimes don't know what the hell to do.

DragonTears

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Re: It seems like after so long nothing changes
« Reply #1 on: August 26, 2017, 01:41:13 PM »
Yep.  Me too.  I'm sorry this all sucks.

Adley

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Re: It seems like after so long nothing changes
« Reply #2 on: August 27, 2017, 09:59:20 PM »
Thanks, Dragontears, for bringing this up. Flman, I must admit I saw it when you posted, and thought "I'll have to let this sink in a while ", and predictably I forgot. I was really scared to touch the subject with a ten foot pole. I'm sorry. Not that I have a whole lot to offer, but I know it's rough when you hit bottom and throw some heart out there and hear only silence. Our circumstances are different, but I know what that "everyday is the same" business is like. Near my breaking point (who knows where that is anyway?) I took it upon myself to shake things up. Epic fail.
    After more misery and consigning myself back to the same safe but hopeless routine, I had to do it again. Just tried a totally different direction. So far, so good. That doesn't mean that my latest decisions won't totally crumble around me, but I guess I'm ok with that. For me, it beats monotony. Especially when that monotony is rooted in real tears.
    I had to make a change. Several. Some didn't work, but it wasn't nearly as bad as losing my best friend and partner. And the monotony is better than some things, unbelievably. But you never know till you try. Good luck!
Here's to my pretty young wife     sleepin amongst the stars           now they say what's hers is mine but I know what's ours is ours

Christopher

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  • I came, I saw, I tried... I left.
Re: It seems like after so long nothing changes
« Reply #3 on: August 28, 2017, 12:19:59 AM »
I had to do the same. I used to live around only toxic people. Had to sever all ties.

It was pretty brutal. I picked up the pieces on my own.

It took me 4 years. I'm starting to come out of that funk now 7 years after the event. 3 years after active grieving finished tells you how rough the patch was.

jgib

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Re: It seems like after so long nothing changes
« Reply #4 on: August 28, 2017, 11:42:24 AM »
I get it too....
Coming up 4 years.  Not numb anymore and the monotony is setting in. DH and I moved around a bit because of his work, the wanderlust he passed on to me, is beginning to set in.
I have a few options.  Lucky and unlucky in that, sometimes more choices are more difficult.  Two of the move choices would be BIG ones.......not sure I am ready for that......
I am at the stage were I can start to look forward and not just in the minute.  Nice change.
It sucks to feel 'stuck'!

TornApart

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Re: It seems like after so long nothing changes
« Reply #5 on: August 30, 2017, 02:40:41 PM »
Me too. Feel like i went through this whole realisation / awakening after years of grief and now I am back to how I was before he died, just alone. Work,  chores, sleep, repeat.
"When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight." Kahlil Gibran