Socializing > Relationships/Remarriage

Remarriage and wedding vows

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--- Quote from: Trying on August 13, 2017, 04:32:48 PM ---
So did you include your late spouse in the ceremony?

--- End quote ---

No, we did not.  We felt to bring a mention of our late spouses into a fresh beginning would introduce a bit of sadness into a very joyful event.

All of our guests were well aware that we both had lost our previous spouses. As such, they were remembered in silence.

Good luck - Mike


Bluebird and I met each other as a direct result of regularly posting for many months on the old YWBB (this site's predecessor) about the illnesses and tragic deaths of our spouses. So when we were planning our wedding 3 years later, we each felt strongly about acknowledging the lives we once shared with them. Also, several dozen of our wedding guests were themselves widows and widowers, almost all fellow YWBB members who had become our good friends. We consequently knew that they would relate quite well to our honoring the memories of our deceased spouses during our wedding ceremony. Bluebird and I are very glad that we did so that day, and in several ways that were both beautiful and meaningful to us.

But I can see that under different circumstances a couple might not feel this way, especially if only one of them has been widowed. In the end, I guess it’s a very personal decision.

 —- WifeLess

I think adding the fact that you have proven your commitment in a previous marriage, which ended properly with death as all marriages should, and will prove your love once more is a great way to cement the notion of your commitment.

Something like "As I have proven myself before in a marriage which ended as all marriages ought to, that being in death and only in death, I will love you relentlessly and until the very life inside of me leaves my bones or until yours leaves you. I will adore you with every beat of my heart, every breath that escapes my lips and every effort of my body. I will not leave you or forsake you. Only death can do us part, and this is good in my sight."

Thank you all for your input!  We have been working on the ceremony and vows, trying to make them personal and specific to our situation. I think my initial instinct that late husband does not belong in our ceremony is what is best. We will honor finances parents and my Dad who have passed and are with us in spirit. In my vows I will reference that fiancé came into my life at a time when I didn't know I wanted or was capable of loving again. Then we are each going to make vows to the other's children and he will say something about not being able to replace their Dad but promising to to care for and support them as if they were his own. I think that this will be respectful of my children without me feeling like I am taking anything away from my commitment to this marriage.

As a friend said to me, I can't really say I wish Tim was with us because I would never be getting married again if he was!

I realize I am very lucky to have found someone who cares so much about my needs and I try to show him my appreciation every day.

Ah. You have found your own way of acknowledging Tim. Bravo!



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