Time Frame > Newly Widowed (1 day to 6 months)

3 months after suicide...

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CJ92:
Hi everyone... I registered about a month ago, but then couldn't get myself to actually put into writing any of this.

3 months ago now, my wife killed herself. It still doesn't seem possible that I can write that sentence and that it is true.

MR:
Hi CJ92,
Sorry to hear about your wife and my condolences. We all are here to help each other so please keep writing and reading. Take one day at a time or even one hour at a time. Eat enough and drink lots of water. Take care of your kids, I know it is very difficult but they only have you.

Hugs
Manoj

Wheelerswife:
I am so sorry for the loss of your beloved wife and the mother of your children. I imagine this is all so overwhelming. Please don't apologize for writing what is on your mind and in your heart. This is exactly what this place is for. I have even named some of my posts as "rambling..."

You have been through so much in your short life. It has also been full of love. I'm sorry it is now full of sorrow and anger. These are all fully normal emotions after the loss of a spouse. I hope you can find consolation in knowing that you loved your wife with all of your being, even in the midst of her mental health challenges.

Right now, hug your kids. You are already taking great care of them. Remember to breathe. Eat when you can. Sleep when you can. Drink water. Take help that you find valuable. Read here and post to your heart's content.

Hugs,

Maureen

Julester3:
You did fine getting it all out. It sounded like it was all bottling up and collecting inside you so you have to get it out. Mental health is hard to grasp. I am sorry that your wife lost her battle with it. Know that we are here to listen and support. I have a teenager with a history of seizures so even if you want to talk kids issues, I can listen to that too. Anything you need to unload this is the place.

Hugs for you.

CJ92:
@wheelerswife thank you for the welcome and I appreciate the support. I think with so much happening with the kids I have been putting a lot of my own needs second and know I need to make sure that I take care of myself to best take care of them. It's all very overwhelming, but you are right that I've been lucky to have so much love in my life and I'll hold on to that.

@julester3 yeah I definitely have bottled up a lot. For me, I guess I feel a lot of judgment because of how she died. It's like I want the world to know that no, we had this great love and we had these tough times, but we overcame and look at what a great team we were.... and then she's gone. I know that she was ill and when it comes down to it, it wasn't her fault. It still hurts though and at times I feel abandoned and I'm worried about screwing up with the kids. They are my world. But man it is hard alone, especially when my youngest does have some special health needs. I may message you about seizures, I appreciate the offer.

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