Time Frame > Shock Wears Off, Reality Sets In ( 6 to 12 months)

Grief Sucks

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Captains wife:
Sorry - the first months (and years) are tough : (  But I promise it will get better...I'm at 5.25 years out. Wishing you all the best....I know how tough this is.

I honestly don't believe the intensity of the pain for the loss ever truly goes away. But what does start to happen is how long it impacts you and how long you're down and out because of it gets shorter and shorter. I can honestly tell you I have more good moments than bad now and I'm only about a year and a month out. But again everybody's pace is different and I've been working very hard to deal with my grief and get the support I need to be able to get where I am today. But I still have moments. A song, a smell, the sound of his voice in a video I accidentally come across. Finding something that was so insignificant when he was here and yet means everything to me now that he's gone. It can still bring me to my knees and make it feel like my heart is going to come out of my chest. But rather than taking me out for a whole week maybe it only takes me out for a couple of hours or maybe just for a moment. You get stronger as time goes on and are able to pick yourself up more and more. It's like exercising a muscle so don't give up. It is true that it does get worse before it gets better cuz you have to feel it to move through it and at first you really feel nothing at all. Don't judge yourself too much for feeling like you're running backwards. This is not a linear process and sometimes you'll go up, down, left, right and anywhere in between. We are all here for each other and I am so blessed to have found such a place to get the support that I needed. I hope you find comfort in these boards as well. KK


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