Time Frame > Shock Wears Off, Reality Sets In ( 6 to 12 months)

Widowed and empty nest. Now what?

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My wife died 9 months ago, suddenly and without warning. We were a few months shy of celebrating  our 25th anniversary.

The year before my father died. He lived a block away and we were close.

Today my oldest son and I drove my youngest son 500 miles away to college. He was very excited, and I am happy for him. But inside I was so torn up because his mother should have been there with us. She was so excited to see her boys grow into men.

My oldest son will be leaving home in 9 months when he graduates from college.

In 18 months I will have gone from a happy family of 4 to just me. I defined myself by my relationship with my wife. I miss her. I miss my son. And know the next nine months will go by quickly.

I am not even sure why I am posting this. I guess it is because this is what I would have talked to her about on the ride home and she is not here to share her wisdom. 

Hi, Leadfeather,

I'd like to welcome you to our online community.  As we say, it is the club that nobody wants to join and the price of membership is way too high.

I don't have kids, but I am sure others can relate to your empty nest situation and coping with launching big kids out into the world.

Hang in there and vent away.


Sympathies- I get the underlying sentiment, though not experiencing everything in as short a timeframe, and with one still at home. I'm sorry you find yourself here (as do we all), but welcome. While no one's experiences are identical, folks here "get it" unlike anyone who's not been through the loss of their mate.

Peace to you- seeing the fledglings leave the nest is hard enough; ending up experiencing it solo without your mate/their other parent is torture.

Leadfeather   I'm a bit further out on this widowhood journey (4 years), I just dropped off my youngest at college last week and am now an empty nester.   The transition for me has been longer, but it's been difficult to go from our family of four to just me.  My husband would have been so very proud to see what his kids are doing, it's been bittersweet to experience these milestones with my children and not have him here. I can relate to what you're going through. Very best wishes to you on this process ~

I don't have a now what answer. However I'm feeling the same , oldest lives here but college ,work, and gf I never see him. Youngest graduates in 2018 and wants to go away to college . I tease kids I'm going to have more kids .. yea no ...


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