Time Frame > Beyond the First Year (1+ years)

1st Sad Anniversary

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Like most big dates I felt the lead up was the hardest followed by exhaustion for a week after then relief that I survived.  Knowing that all of the "firsts" have passed is some comfort.

We are Hindu and so we do Cremation and thus no grave. My in-laws are visiting us from india and are staying at my place for last 2 months so went to temple and did some talking about her with them and kids. It was tough day and probably cried like I use to in the initial days.

Thanks everyone,

You do what works, you know what I mean? Hugs for getting through the day.

I have had the good fortune to have The Best Widow Grief Group EVER.  On my Sadiversary 18 people came to the cemetery with me.  They brought tables, chairs, all of Kirk's favorite foods, pictures, flowers, etc.  They asked me to tell them all of my 'Kirk' stories.  I spoke for half an hour.  There was not a dry eye there.  Then we ate and, unbelievably, had a wonderful time for over 4 hours.  One of the widows even brought her husband's bedside commode ~ with water for cleaning, TP, bags for disposing, etc.  She put that way back in the woods so no one had to leave the cemetery for any reason (everyone cleaned up after themselves, so it was always spic and span for the next user).  This group of people thought of EVERYTHING.  It was an unbelievable Turning Point for me.  I cannot stress the wonderfulness of having a support family of fellow wids.  I just hope I can be to them what they have been to me.

@Trying ~ after my One Year, I said to a fellow Wid who had been widowed 2 months before I was, something akin to what you said in your post, about being relieved that all the "firsts" were done.  She looked at me sadly, and said, "Oh, Honey, your Firsts are not over."  She was right.  Since the One Year, I have made my first trip without him, gone to my first wedding without him, my first funeral (IN THE SAME ROOM AS HIS.... AAAACCKKKK), etc.  The Firsts keep coming.  Sorry to be a downer, but be prepared.  Warm hugs.


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