Socializing > Social Encounters

I'm a prude

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Thanks all- for giving me an ear, some hope, and a shoulder-

I've been thinking about this lately too. At almost 7 months out, I don't want a new relationship or sex, but sometimes I do really miss having someone to hold my hand, or to just sit with and put our arms around each other. Sam and I were constantly touching when we were together- he'd reach for my hands as soon as we sat down across from each other at a restaurant. So being alone is really hard.

Also seconding what Bunny said about the joy of holding a child's hand. It's such a sweet, simple show of love when a kid wants to hold hands or give you a big hug.

I too tend to be introverted and just a big ol nerd when it comes to this sort of thing. Like I tell people, I was married/in some form of committed relationship for 25 years between two marriages so what do I know from dating? We didn't exactly date ... it was sort of a mutual coming together. Not romantic at all the first go and I was too wounded the second go to get when he was trying to be romantic. It just wasn't part of my DNA. NG is very touchy-feely but even in the beginning he didn't try to hold hands or anything. We just sort of grew into it. One time we went out and were sitting on a bench outside and he put his arm around my shoulder. In public (!). I couldn't believe it but I liked it. Later, he would hold my hand and now, depending on where we are going he usually holds my hand. Like MR, when I drive I keep my right hand free because I know he likes to hold hands. And when I can't because I need to really concentrate, he'll put his hand on my right shoulder.

It is true -- for some, hand-holding is more intimate ... I have to agree.

My husband held my hand every time we had to cross a street. I suppose some might find that a bit parental, but it made me feel cherished. He was almost a foot taller than me and bf is half a foot taller. The hand-holding experience feels fairly similar but kissing is easier, not so much neck ache issues now.

I think holding hands comes into play when you have to feel that physical connection with someone. Especially in public when the physical connection needs to be more discreet.  Other than my late husband I've only held hands with one of the guys I've dated. Happens to be the guy I'm dating now, and we haven't been dating long.


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