Author Topic: A visit from my stepson  (Read 466 times)

BrokenHeart2

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A visit from my stepson
« on: September 07, 2017, 02:42:11 AM »
My stepson came for a visit today. I haven't seen him in 6 months since he moved out west and he's home for a visit.  He has cut his hair right down and his receding hairline is very noticeable, just like his father had.  He is now near the same age as when I met DH.  We had a really great visit up until.
We were sitting at the table and he was sitting where DH always sat.  His mannerisms are so predominate now he is so much like his father.  Right out of the blue while I was talking I looked at him and the way he looked back at me I felt like a lightning bolt hit me.  For a split second I felt like I was talking to DH.  With his beard now trimmed the same, the way he was sitting, his lazy eye, the black tee shirt on, everything, it was like the perfect storm and I just started to cry.  I was freaked out by it and I'm sure I freaked him out too. I told him what happened, quickly composed myself and got on with it.
I'm sure he must think I'm nuts and I kind of feel like I am too. 
I have been feeling unsettled about it since.  The ache of missing him has welled up so much. 
Has this ever happened to any of you?
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.

JeanGenie

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Re: A visit from my stepson
« Reply #1 on: September 07, 2017, 05:18:31 AM »
Oh BH2,
All I can say is "wow".... Just reading your post moved me and I'm sorry this has left you unsettled and brought all those feelings of missing DH back to the surface. This hasn't happened to me, so all I can do is send you virtual hugs...
I miss how happy I was with you.

Catnip

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Re: A visit from my stepson
« Reply #2 on: September 11, 2017, 12:28:11 PM »
Yes, it happens to me quite frequently. I have 3 sons. They all look like their Dad, especially my youngest.
My youngest looks the most like him and really has the same personality. There is something about him when he talks and the expressions on his face remind me so much of my husband. And then he sits at my table for dinner with his one hand on his lap, just like my husband always did. My youngest is 28 years old now and has moved out of the house. I married my husband when he was 25, so he often brings me back in time.
I enjoy it because it carries on my husband's legacy.

Peace,
~Catnip
You left and forgot to tell my heart how to live without you.

BrokenHeart2

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Re: A visit from my stepson
« Reply #3 on: September 11, 2017, 01:49:38 PM »
Thanks Catnip.  Yes I'm sure it does bring you comfort. I think what shocked me so much about is that I haven't seen SS in 6 months and the changes in him since then and just all of it at that moment was so bizarre. I've made sure to let him know it was absolutely nothing he did to trigger my reaction. 
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.

Stagger Onward Rejoicing

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Re: A visit from my stepson
« Reply #4 on: September 15, 2017, 01:20:14 PM »
For me it was time spent with my brothers in law. We're scattered so I don't see them much but when I do, their faces and their mannerisms remind me so much of DH that it stops me in my tracks. My son closely resembles his father's side of the family, and when I saw him sitting next to his uncle - well, let's just say it was painful.  My boy was sitting next to the wrong brother.

patriciad

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Re: A visit from my stepson
« Reply #5 on: September 23, 2017, 05:36:39 PM »
Yes.  For me it is my eldest son.  I have three grown sons but the eldest is his father to the bone.  The mannerisms, his smile, all the things he does.  I see him now with his girlfriend ,who I know will someday be his wife, and I think of how much they remind me of me and Billy when we were young.  I smile but there is a bittersweetness to it all.