Specific Situations > Young Widowed Parents

Just overwhelmed

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Stagger Onward Rejoicing:
My son left for college eight months after his dad died, and his sister two years after that. It was so hard to say goodbye to them because I was also saying goodbye to the part of me that took care of three other people.

I frogmarched my son to the counseling center when I dropped him off, so he could know where it is. He did end up using it.

He is 24 on Friday, has a great girlfriend, did well in school and is interviewing for a great job tomorrow.  His sister is a senior in college, also doing well, has a great boyfriend.

So they're both doing well by any measure but it will never never ever be okay that they have achieved all this without their father being there to celebrate with them and wipe a tear away with me. And that he will never know the people who will likely be their spouses. He would have liked both of them so much.

Only parenting is one of the loneliest thing I have experienced after Gail's passing. 5 of our 6 kids were 18+ yet only one was living out of the house when she passed.

The minor was 14. Gail was suppose to deal with her while I quietly helped in the background (at least that was my plan) with buying dresses for dances, help finding a GYN, dealing with her first love first heartbreak....

In the beginning I was asking for advice. Then I realized that no one knew her like I did, no one shared my parenting ideas. Finally I just went upstairs to my room. I might cry, I might laugh and more often than not I would just say "you are suppose to help me with this Gail". After one or all of these emotions ran through me I always came to the same conclusion. I had to make my decisions on how to deal with it and do it. Good, bad or ugly. It was just the two of us.

Now that she has moved out I find that she is the only one that I "miss". They all stop by, I enjoy every minute I have with all of them. I love them all equally. I don't understand and can not express why. I just miss her and have no one to discuss it with.

Welcome MP to the group nobody wants to join but glad you found us.  Missing her is most certainly understandable.  You spent the last 7 yrs with her and now I'm assuming you are alone in the house.
I have 5 siblings so I know how busy your house used to be and get how hard it must be now.  Could it possibly be that there is some lingering grief that you are just getting to experience now?  I don't know, just saying.


--- Quote from: MadPage on September 13, 2017, 11:46:45 PM ---Only parenting is one of the loneliest thing I have experienced after Gail's passing.
--- End quote ---

I 100% agree.  I've learned to deal with most of the other issues that have come up since my husband died, but this is the hardest and loneliest thing for me.

Captains wife:
The single parenting is so tough : ( I've had a few issues with my son (on IEP, developmental issues) and I find it overwhelming to deal with alone. I hate sitting in all these school/teacher meetings alone. Completely understand and hope the issue gets resolved.


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