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Considering the Worst of All Conclusions

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It's been over three years since my wife passed away, so I don't consider my to be actively grieving for her. But these are difficult times for some people close to me. Age has rapidly caught up with both of my parents and they need a lot of help. One of my friends is ill and seems too have withdrawn from the rest of the world. Someone else close to me, who has always been difficult to reach, hasn't responded to my phone calls for weeks.

I speak with my parents just about every day, so I'm up-to-date on what's happening to them. As far as the other two individuals are concerned, I keep wondering:

    Did they suddenly die?

I know it's absurd to jump to that conclusion, but these questions still come up:

    Did they die and nobody has told me yet? ...or, worse:
    Did they die alone and nobody has yet discovered this?

I'm not Has anyone else gone through something like this?

|+|  M a r k  |+|

Hi G
After what we've been through I don't think those questions you ask yourself is absurd.  I have one friend that I had pondered the same thing when I couldn't reach her by phone for days.  She was ok and just went away. But I thought the worst right away.

First Widow:
I have definitely jumped to the worst conclusion when I can't get a hold of someone since my husband passed.  Thankfully I haven't been right and I get to laugh at myself later.

I don't think it's absurd . I think it's natural , sadly when we lose someone . When my mind wanders there and I start worrying about someone I remember coming home to police in my driveway . In other words bad news always travels , fast. So I think , no news is good news . 
Maybe your two friend s, when you get a hold of them tell them you worry and think the worst when they don't respond.

When NG is late coming home from work or - worse - from hiking, where he's out of cell service range, I fear the worst until I hear from him.  Sometimes it just flits through my mind, and I'm fine.  Other times, I'm fixated and terrified.  I'd love to stop this sickening kneejerk fear, but years ago on a Friday morning, DH and I left for work, excited for the weekend, and by noon he was in brain surgery, and the weekend was death.  I used to think of widowhood as stripping me of some kind of innocence I used to have - innocence of potential outcomes.  I can't seem to get back to that innocence.  Maybe soon.  Over time.  More time. 


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