Author Topic: This week 10 years..walk..Birthday  (Read 374 times)

Sugarbell

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This week 10 years..walk..Birthday
« on: September 17, 2017, 10:15:22 AM »
Next weekend will mark 10 years since B died from suicide. The OODarkness Walk where I used to live is also on that day. One of Bs childhood friends is the walk coordinator and it's been on "the weekend" for several years now. It's also my middle child's 13th Birthday. His Dad died that day but was found several days later.

Feeling reflective more this year at how far we've come. My kids have really only known life with me. Oldest was just starting PreK..he's now a Freshmen in high school.

I've been more vocal with fundraising for the walk (we walk every year but some years I just don't do much with it). Our team is the top fundraiser this year.

After the walk (an hour away) we will come home and throw a blow out party for my son. He always wants friends at the house sleeping over..every year the weather is perfect fall weather...The same weather it was the day he died. The environmental factors always trigger me a little because Fall in WV is just beautiful.

AnywAy it's always an emotionally exhausting weekend..but I keep happy and celebrate my sons life and his fathers. But honestly by the end of that weekend I am emotionally worn out.
B.W.H. 9/24/2007

First Widow

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Re: This week 10 years..walk..Birthday
« Reply #1 on: September 17, 2017, 11:00:54 AM »
(((Hugs))) Wishing you strength for next weekend. 

Your post reminds me of the the first anniversary of my husbands death by suicide.  We've always been calendar challenged with so much going on, so the one day that would work for my son's Eagle Scout court of honor which included dedicating the memorial handicapped fishing deck that was his project, was the anniversary date.  In a way, I think having it all collide helped get through that first one, but I admire your strength in facing it all head on year after year.
"But slowly he stole my broken heart and put the pieces back together while I wasn’t looking…and I love him."

A Tout Jamais

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Re: This week 10 years..walk..Birthday
« Reply #2 on: September 24, 2017, 08:35:57 AM »
Quote
Next weekend will mark 10 years since B died from suicide… It's also my middle child's 13th Birthday…
Feeling reflective more this year at how far we've come.


"A healed memory is not a deleted memory."
-- Lewis B. Smedes


Quote
Anyway it's always an emotionally exhausting weekend..but I keep happy and celebrate my sons life and his fathers.
But honestly by the end of that weekend I am emotionally worn out.





"The sands of time cannot be stopped.
Years pass whether we will them or not... "
-- Christopher Paolini


((Sugarbell))

The 'Sands of Time' are in perpetual motion, steadily blown by the Winds of Life, and they inexorably move us along – days, weeks, months, years – and suddenly we face an entire DECADE! -  A huge, significant marker of time that can be jolting, but at minimum make us pause and wonder HOW we got here – perhaps even somewhat surreal. – Yours had been an incredibly tumultuous and difficult road, mainly in the early years. I admire your indomitable spirit and perseverance in pulling yourself up from the deepest moments of darkness while holding your little family together, providing a structured life and happy home for them. You have made quantum leaps!

Alas, for You, the convergence of the simultaneous, annual events/reminders must surely be emotionally and mentally draining, especially the dark shadow of the anniversary, juxtaposed with the happy occasion of celebrating the birthday of your beloved son. These conflicting, dissonant emotions are a challenging task for the psyche to process, and I am sending you MUCH positive energy and support!
 
Thinking of you today and wishing You and Your family abundant Blessings and a future filled with Happpiess.





May Peace & Tranquility enfold your Heart today!

ATJ 


« Last Edit: September 25, 2017, 08:24:52 AM by A Tout Jamais »
"Tu n'es plus là où tu étais, mais tu es partout là où je suis."
~~ Victor Hugo

"Je me souviens de toi ... Je me souviens de nous  - Il était une fois -  Je me souviens de tout!"

MR

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Re: This week 10 years..walk..Birthday
« Reply #3 on: September 25, 2017, 10:49:13 AM »
Sending strength and hugs
Manoj

BrokenHeart2

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Re: This week 10 years..walk..Birthday
« Reply #4 on: September 25, 2017, 12:29:03 PM »
Hugs to you Sugarbell.
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.