Author Topic: When you finally break the cycle..........  (Read 537 times)

StillWidowed

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When you finally break the cycle..........
« on: September 19, 2017, 09:36:58 AM »
The emotionally unavailable ex pulled his usual stunt and texted me after months and months of no contact.  It's been a long and painful road getting over him.  In the past, he would contact me, and we would repeat the cycle, resulting in me being further hurt and disappointed.  But this time was different.  After he texted me, I waited 4 days before responding with the following:

"It's taken a long time for my heart to catch up to my head, but I'm finally making progress.  Please do not contact me anymore". 

I've never in all the years he's played the ever seductive withholding dance, told him to jog on.  After I did, I called my mother and cried on the phone to her.  I know I did the right thing, and had finally come to the place where I'd rather be alone than spend another minute on a man that did nothing but jerk me around.
 
But still, it felt so final. 

For any of you out there that are going thru something similar, hang in there.  Trying to navigate thru the waters of the dating world after loss seems to make it all the more difficult.  Especially when you give your heart and have it broken, again.  Hold onto hope, even when some days feel hopeless.

jgib

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Re: When you finally break the cycle..........
« Reply #1 on: September 19, 2017, 01:47:03 PM »
congratulations

BrokenHeart2

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  • Widowed 2013
Re: When you finally break the cycle..........
« Reply #2 on: September 19, 2017, 03:32:03 PM »
Way to go SW!! Way to care for yourself!! 
Hugs
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.

Trying

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  • aka MissingmyTim
Re: When you finally break the cycle..........
« Reply #3 on: September 19, 2017, 04:26:13 PM »
That took guts and a heavy dose of self respect, way to go!  As hard as it is, don't doubt that you did the right thing.
You will forever be my always.

Virgo

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  • Location:Indiana Widowed:2/4/14
Re: When you finally break the cycle..........
« Reply #4 on: September 20, 2017, 06:48:07 AM »
Good for you!!
Jen

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss

MR

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Re: When you finally break the cycle..........
« Reply #5 on: September 20, 2017, 02:02:42 PM »
Great. Keep it going.

kjs1989

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Re: When you finally break the cycle..........
« Reply #6 on: September 20, 2017, 06:50:24 PM »
You are taking care of YOU!  Better things are ahead.  After what we have been through, it is just a blip on the radar of life. Believe that.

faye

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Re: When you finally break the cycle..........
« Reply #7 on: September 21, 2017, 09:36:46 PM »
 "I'd rather be alone than spend another minute on a man that did nothing but jerk me around."

A lifetime ago, I had just moved back to the city that  would be my home for years.  I was hanging around some of my old friends.  I told my Mom that if I kept hanging around them, I would probably end up back with Old Boyfriend, who was a jerk.  She asked if that was what I wanted, and I told her no.  She suggested I not hang around those people. I took her advice.  It still hurt, though,for a while.

Captains wife

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Re: When you finally break the cycle..........
« Reply #8 on: September 22, 2017, 11:00:27 AM »
Seriously - good for you. This is the best thing you can do for yourself. I was in a somewhat similar situation and finally I told him good bye for good. I miss him a bit, sure, (the good side) but it was the best thing I ever did - I got him out of my space, heart and mind. I feel free now of his toxic situation (he was also a huge drinker). It feels so good to move on.

arneal

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    • The Starving Activist
Re: When you finally break the cycle..........
« Reply #9 on: October 05, 2017, 02:20:19 PM »
You go, girl. Now that you have done it, it will be easier to spot the jerks in future and tell them to get to steppin right away. {{{hugs}}}
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b