Socializing > Relationships/Remarriage

Stress with his ex pushing me over the edge

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trying -- this ramp up is because of the wedding. He is moving forward, you all are happy. You have what she did not, or what maybe she had and eventually no longer had. Not your issue, but she is making it so. More importantly, she is not realizing that the rest of the world (the children's school) can see that she is off her rocker on this one. Having had something of a similar experience with LH's ex, my recommendation to him would be to ask for a meeting with the teachers. Go to the school, talk to them. If he has partial custody, he should be able to talk to the teachers and maybe even see his children while they are at school. Will it freak her out? Probably. But if he has an opportunity to talk to the people who have 'control' over his childrens' lives for the majority of their every waking hour, he might be able to gain some support from them (the teachers, administrators). If getting to the teachers is too forward, maybe he can talk to their school counselors. While those folks are primarily about class schedules, they are the go-to when students have issues, including emotional ones like his son and the veteran's thing.

{{{hugs}}} Stay strong, sis.

Ugh, she's a loose cannon for sure and I can't imagine the stress that this creates.  Undoubtedly others see that she's loony and this behavior will come around to get her eventually.  I agree with arneal in your DH talking with teachers and/or counselors at school, as a parent he should have full rights to communicate the needs of his son and talk about any issues that are going on.  Seems that the crazy ex needs to be taken out of the loop right now, and dealing with issues while he's at school may be the way to go.  Good luck, hope the craziness fades soon for all of you.

A friend from my past life fathered a child with someone who is a supreme button pusher. She likes to keep poking around, looking for that perfect nerve to tap into. When I observed her, she was relentless in her cause and took great satisfaction in driving one to madness. A real soul sucker.

In your case, I'm sure her ex getting married really revved those engines up to full gear. There's probably only one way to 'win' with someone of this temperament and it is not easy in the least. Your new husband must find his way to complete detachment in all things where she is concerned. Because these kind of people absolutely thrive on fucking with others and usually have boundless energy for the task. The calmer he is the harder she will push so you probably will need to be his cheerleader on this, which means sucking up all the hateful shit you want to say and do. I'd suggest starting some kinda journal to get it all out...

^^^ Totally what Bunny said!

Hi Trying,

Everything you said in the letter was true. Will it help? I hope so. Am I confident? No. She sounds like she has a personality disorder.

My parents did this crap w me. I moved far away, and they will die alone likely. Not bc I am a cold hearted beyotch but bc I had to build my life far away from their toxicity for my own health.

Her kids will remember and resent this. It is a form of abuse. I agree w talking to teachers, no child should be treated this way. They aren't property.


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