Author Topic: Stress with his ex pushing me over the edge  (Read 1304 times)

arneal

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Re: Stress with his ex pushing me over the edge
« Reply #45 on: October 17, 2017, 08:27:53 PM »
trying -- this ramp up is because of the wedding. He is moving forward, you all are happy. You have what she did not, or what maybe she had and eventually no longer had. Not your issue, but she is making it so. More importantly, she is not realizing that the rest of the world (the children's school) can see that she is off her rocker on this one. Having had something of a similar experience with LH's ex, my recommendation to him would be to ask for a meeting with the teachers. Go to the school, talk to them. If he has partial custody, he should be able to talk to the teachers and maybe even see his children while they are at school. Will it freak her out? Probably. But if he has an opportunity to talk to the people who have 'control' over his childrens' lives for the majority of their every waking hour, he might be able to gain some support from them (the teachers, administrators). If getting to the teachers is too forward, maybe he can talk to their school counselors. While those folks are primarily about class schedules, they are the go-to when students have issues, including emotional ones like his son and the veteran's thing.

{{{hugs}}} Stay strong, sis.
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

trying2breathe

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Re: Stress with his ex pushing me over the edge
« Reply #46 on: October 18, 2017, 10:28:54 AM »
Ugh, she's a loose cannon for sure and I can't imagine the stress that this creates.  Undoubtedly others see that she's loony and this behavior will come around to get her eventually.  I agree with arneal in your DH talking with teachers and/or counselors at school, as a parent he should have full rights to communicate the needs of his son and talk about any issues that are going on.  Seems that the crazy ex needs to be taken out of the loop right now, and dealing with issues while he's at school may be the way to go.  Good luck, hope the craziness fades soon for all of you.
Have I told you lately how much I love you?

Bunny

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Re: Stress with his ex pushing me over the edge
« Reply #47 on: October 18, 2017, 05:55:40 PM »
A friend from my past life fathered a child with someone who is a supreme button pusher. She likes to keep poking around, looking for that perfect nerve to tap into. When I observed her, she was relentless in her cause and took great satisfaction in driving one to madness. A real soul sucker.

In your case, I'm sure her ex getting married really revved those engines up to full gear. There's probably only one way to 'win' with someone of this temperament and it is not easy in the least. Your new husband must find his way to complete detachment in all things where she is concerned. Because these kind of people absolutely thrive on fucking with others and usually have boundless energy for the task. The calmer he is the harder she will push so you probably will need to be his cheerleader on this, which means sucking up all the hateful shit you want to say and do. I'd suggest starting some kinda journal to get it all out...

It is a fearful thing to love what Death can touch.

arneal

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Re: Stress with his ex pushing me over the edge
« Reply #48 on: October 18, 2017, 06:00:05 PM »
^^^ Totally what Bunny said!
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

Newgirl

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Re: Stress with his ex pushing me over the edge
« Reply #49 on: Today at 10:12:52 AM »
Hi Trying,

Everything you said in the letter was true. Will it help? I hope so. Am I confident? No. She sounds like she has a personality disorder.

My parents did this crap w me. I moved far away, and they will die alone likely. Not bc I am a cold hearted beyotch but bc I had to build my life far away from their toxicity for my own health.

Her kids will remember and resent this. It is a form of abuse. I agree w talking to teachers, no child should be treated this way. They aren't property.


arneal

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Re: Stress with his ex pushing me over the edge
« Reply #50 on: Today at 10:32:34 AM »
So sorry to hear that, Newgirl. It is hard when family is toxic. I am far away from all my family as well, except my son (who does not live with me) and three cousins of my LH, none of whom live in my state. The three of them are kinder to me than 'blood' family. I don't hear much from one but he invited me to visit should I ever be in his state, while the other two stay in fairly close touch. However, it taints us from wanting to be close, doesn't it? I freak out inside when anyone suggests coming to visit because I don't want them to stay with me (the one cousin stayed with LH and I for a while ... boy was that something; the other is very level-headed, wants to visit as she has never been to this state, but wants to get her own hotel and rental car because she knows I work every day and have my guard dogs here).
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

Trying

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Re: Stress with his ex pushing me over the edge
« Reply #51 on: Today at 11:29:12 AM »
Newgirl I am sad to hear your parents treated you this way.  I truely hope she comes around at some point before the kids get much older because I don't want them having resentment towards her that clouds their life.  They are great little boys who deserve to be loved by all of us, it's not their fault their parents divorced and they shouldn't have to pay the price. 

She continues with her craziness and they go back to court next week.  He just needs to have the custody thing settled and in writing so she realizes she can't just call all of the shots.

The sad thing is that their youngest, first grade, has a parent day at school the day they go to court so neither of them can be there.  I will be going so he isn't upset and I'm sure he will be happy to have me but it really should be one or both of them, these times are precious and don't last forever.
You will forever be my always.