Author Topic: New and young. Lost and broken  (Read 794 times)

Virgo

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Re: New and young. Lost and broken
« Reply #15 on: September 13, 2017, 03:09:43 PM »
I still hurt the most when I think long term. I thought "one day at a time" was lame advice, but it truly does help to think that way. Daily goals. I'm so sorry for your loss.
Jen

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss

SalvationsDying

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Re: New and young. Lost and broken
« Reply #16 on: September 18, 2017, 07:15:36 PM »
I've been, living I guess? Making it every day.

Its 8pm where I am. It is the worst about this time. I've been okay today. Didn't cry, didn't break down. Still sad and missing him. But now. It hurts to breathe, my chest hurts. It's this way nightly. I fall asleep on a wet pillow most nights. Unless I read until I fall asleep.

I want to be whole again

Tsnre

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Re: New and young. Lost and broken
« Reply #17 on: September 26, 2017, 09:44:34 PM »
SD I feel your pain, everything you are writing I feel as if I'm experiencing at this very moment. I too have 2 small children and they seem to be what keeps me going day to day. My daughter also lost her very 1st tooth only a couple weeks after,  something we were working on pulling for a while so her daddy would have been proud. She learned to swim that same week and even had her 1st sleepover at a friends house. She was "daddy's girl" so I know it really hurts her not to be able to share that with him. Even my son at 2 just comes out with stuff sometimes of his memories with his dad...I hope he always remembers but sadly all he will have are the photos and things I've boxed up for him to have someday. My DH's accident was also only 4 houses from my inlaws. His parents have helped me with so much thru all of this and I am so grateful to have them close. They each have retired now and are taking care of watching the kids and getting them to school which I know is extremely stressful by itself let alone everything else we are dealing with.
I hope we each feel some comfort in these days to come ahead.
《Hugs》

SalvationsDying

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Re: New and young. Lost and broken
« Reply #18 on: October 02, 2017, 06:05:46 PM »
Hey guys, just checking in.

Things are, rough. My husband worked a extremely dirty job, and would come home gross. I took a shower in his bathroom last night, and could see his hand print in dirt on the wall. I know I should clean it. I just cant.

I still haven't put away our laundry. I keep trying. But I keep coming across some of his clothes and it fcks with me.

Night time is horrible. I hate sleeping without him. Panic attacks and insomnia are taking over.

I just can't even be bothered with life right now.


Julester3

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Re: New and young. Lost and broken
« Reply #19 on: October 02, 2017, 06:38:12 PM »
I have a dirty handprint on the inside of my garage that my husband left when tinkering with the garage door once. I see it every time I'm in the garage. It reminds me that he was there once.

As for sleeping, I used to have issues looking for his body to touch so I sleep on his side of the bed instead of mine and that helped. I also make myself eye tired by reading or crocheting before bed and that helped falling asleep. Try a few things and maybe something will work. Hugs!
« Last Edit: October 02, 2017, 10:11:57 PM by Julester3 »

sojourner

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Re: New and young. Lost and broken
« Reply #20 on: October 02, 2017, 08:03:53 PM »
Don't wash it off, at least for now. And sorry if it sounds even weirder, but photogragh it. And save it, maybe print it out on a framed canvas at a photoshop, so even when it does disappear thru age or necessity or your will, if you want it, it's still there for you. Lh left a handprint on a screen at our former home- unlike him to lean on a window itself instead of it's framing, but cancer poisoned his brain and in many ways he wasn't himself in the last months.

The print is still there. And I have it recorded also, since I have to sell our dream house and have moved. Just my opinion, at over 3 years out.

SalvationsDying

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Re: New and young. Lost and broken
« Reply #21 on: October 05, 2017, 09:11:21 PM »
Never would have thought to take a photo of it. I felt so dumb yet broken, standing in the shower looking at dirt, and crying.

We have a 78 vette we got from his brother. She's a project car. And his brother did some work before he deployed (which is why we had bought it from him), and we put a bunch of work in it. I've been driving it a little bit. Just to the bus stop and back. But I feel close to him in the car. It calms me.

Got my tattoo all picked out for him. Just waiting until I get my finances under control. Being a stay at home mom, to suddenly being the only one here, has been a struggle.

Right now the loneliness is kicking in. I don't miss sex so much, as the cuddles and closeness. Just being with him. He always slept shirtless. And a lot of nights he would pull the back of my tank top up so he could feel our skin touching. And I miss that so damn much. It was calming, and felt safe.

I found a video that I can hear him talking in. It's from when he called a radio show. And it both made me laugh and cry. I remember that night well. But I miss his voice.

Julester3

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Re: New and young. Lost and broken
« Reply #22 on: October 06, 2017, 11:13:03 AM »
I still have my husband's car. I didn't initially like it that much but I don't mind so much now. Totally get you on the sleeping thing. Sleep is still hard but I work on tiring myself out so I can get some sleep. Hugs to you! Take a moment at a time and process one issue at a time.

SalvationsDying

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Re: New and young. Lost and broken
« Reply #23 on: October 08, 2017, 06:39:57 PM »
My dd asked me to get down dhs urn so she could hug it. I did. And broke down. My 2 year old comforted me. This isn't how it should be. I should be the one comforting them.


SalvationsDying

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Re: New and young. Lost and broken
« Reply #24 on: October 08, 2017, 06:42:25 PM »
He wore a leather bikers vest daily. I got it for him as a wedding gift. He had it on the day of the accident. He loved it . The hospital had to cut it off him. I plan on having it fixed.

I had a rare night where our 5 year old didn't sleep in my bed. And I cuddled it all night. I still slept like shit. But idk, I just feel a little better with it.

spiderwebb

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Re: New and young. Lost and broken
« Reply #25 on: October 09, 2017, 08:42:04 AM »
Good Morning,
I'm so sorry for your loss.

I texted my wife a few times after she passed.  I talk to her almost everyday.  The texting didn't do anything for me, but talking to her helps me a lot.

Hugs,
Rob

Rob

SalvationsDying

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Re: New and young. Lost and broken
« Reply #26 on: October 09, 2017, 07:33:43 PM »
I've been sending his Facebook messages, and posting things on his wall. It helps, but it doesnt. I get the feelings out. And I feel better for a second. Until I realize I'll never see his little picture drop down showing he read it.

I've had a really rough day today. So has our 5 year old.

I hate missing him

Wheelerswife

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Re: New and young. Lost and broken
« Reply #27 on: October 09, 2017, 07:47:30 PM »
I've been sending his Facebook messages, and posting things on his wall. It helps, but it doesnt. I get the feelings out. And I feel better for a second. Until I realize I'll never see his little picture drop down showing he read it.

I totally understand this. I still post about both of my late husbands and tag them in posts. I can't let their memories die with them, but nothing brings them back.

Hugs to you. Keep doing what you need to do right now. I'm so sorry you and your child have this pain.

Maureen
Life is short.  Love with all you've got. 

Barry 11/29/55-9/22/09       John  1/16/57-1/11/14

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