Young Widow Forum > General Discussion

O.T just be a listening therapist to me

(1/3) > >>

Sugarbell:
Have no one to share this with...not NG..not any friends..it's just my mess that's been a part of my life in a tiny town. I moved back to my hometown last summer...I had not lived here as a professional adult since I was 23. The town suffocated me..I got migraines in high school..on the surface I was popular..but I isolated big time. My Mom was a well known high school teacher...she had a long term love affair with my high school principal. When I was 15 I caught them..I found love letters..I told my Dad.

It's the only time in my life I ever saw him cry. Supposedly it was over..it wasn't. I used to see this principal when I lived in the city in my 20s snooping around where I lived. Like he wanted to check on me. My Mother adored him..my Dad hated him. I was in the middle playing therapist to both. It was a nightmare..high school was a living hell for me.

Before we moved back I made peace with all my demons. He retired..went on to serve on numerous educational boards, win national awards, stayed with his wife..still loved my Mom.

I never discussed it after high school. My Mom is a good person..my Dad is a good person. Her affair shattered my heart and the way I looked at relationships, people...It took me 45 years to make total peace with it. So I moved back..
His wife died 6 months ago.

He died suddenly 5 days ago. FB was blowing up on my alumni page..everyone saying how amazing he was. He was a good principal-our high school is still one of the best in the state. I moved back here for the opportunities for my kids.

He died. It's over. I worry about how my Mom is handling her very private grief..I worry about my Dad. I feel like it's high school again 30 years later. I didn't get a job in the county we live in teaching..I work a County away. I had ironically forgotten that i made a promise to myself that I would never teach school in my hometown until that man died. I moved back and made my peace..and he died.
He never apologized to me for anything. He was coy and cocky and wanted desperately when I was first out of college to get me a job.
That's why I could never live in my hometown.
I'm feeling weird..half sad..half angry..half still having flashbacks. I've dealt with this (knowing the affair was going on since I was 10..but never told my Dad till I was 15).

it's over..thanks for listening.

sojourner:
Listening to what you're expressing. :(

Julester3:
Wow what a heavy burden that has been for you for so long! Hugs!

Portside:
Ugh.

Wow Sugarbell. Prayers for all involved. What a weight on you it must have been/is. :(

Mike

nextchapter:
That is tough for all involved, please remember your Mom and Dad also have no one to talk about it with. I doubt either one will discuss it with you, just be there for them. I know NG is from somewhere close by, not sure why you can not discuss it with him? That is what is great about this group any one can share concerns. Once everyone gets a little further out, hopefully this will disappear from everyone's radar.

Wishing you Peace.

Navigation

[0] Message Index

[#] Next page

Go to full version