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Help me make a decision?

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RyanAmysMom:
Single mommyhood sucks.  I miss having my partner in making decisions.....
So... My late husband's "bucket list" trip was to go to Washington DC and New York (We live in NorCal.)
He never got to go.
My 8th grade daughter has an opportunity to go with her school this Spring - and I'm struggling with a couple of things.... First - it's a lot of $$$.Like, $3,000....  Second, I want to take the trip with her, I want to show her the things that her daddy wanted to see........and I wouldn't be able to.....

At the same time, I want her to have the opportunity to grow, see the world, be independent, and have this experience....... 

So I did the math and figured out that for about $4,000 I could take both kids and go next summer...... 

Is it unreasonable to ask her to wait? 

jgib:
Present all this and ask HER.  No guessing, truth and go with what she wants.  Open, honest and thinking of her.
If she chooses school, you can both go together when she is older and she gets a chance to show you some of the things she got to experience.
If she chooses to wait, with no pressure from you, then you di it together for th first time.
Win, win either way.  :)

Julester3:
I agree. You did the background work and now you can give her an opportunity to be a part of the decision making process. It will make your bond stronger. It makes you a team rather than just parent and child and you giving them some trust.

I also have an 8th grader and she opted no on this trip. We have been to DC a few times when their dad was alive and she wants to keep those memories to herself awhile longer.

klim:
OOOh that is a tough one. I would discuss it with her but not put the whole decision in her lap. That's a lot of pressure.( heck you are finding it a lot of pressure)

When you discuss it, you can gain a sense of how strong her desire to do it with friends is and take that into consideration when making your decision.The other point is you may see her be very fiscally oriented and willing to take the hit of being without friends because it makes sense financially. ( I have one son that definitely thinks that way, he feels bad if he thinks he is the cause of "wasted money')

Any way good luck with the decision.

Abitlost:
That is hard. At first I agreed that you could present her with the options and let her decide.

But then I thought that it might be conflicting for her to have to make that decision.

8th grade trips can be a right of passage for some. Asking her to choose between that and her family may be an emotional burden.

You know her best and can probably weight the pros and cons.

Good luck!

abl

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