Author Topic: Tonight I opened up the urn.  (Read 409 times)


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Tonight I opened up the urn.
« on: October 30, 2017, 07:30:33 PM »
This weekend, weather permitting, my late wife's best friend and I are going on a day hike in Manistee. There is a hill along the trail that was one of my wife's favorite places. She and her girl friends camped there several times. And she and I camped there together also. The picture below is one I took the first time she showed me the view from that hill. I remember how excited she was to share that place with me.

Saturday I will place some of her ashes on that hill. Tonight, in preparation, I opened the urn that contains her ashes for the first time. It was hard but I think that the fear of doing it was worse than actually doing it. Which seems to be a theme with a lot of firsts this year. The fear is worse than the act. Now that I have over come that hurdle I feel like I can move forward with plans to leave her ashes in the places she loved.

Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.
-Corrie Ten Boom

Wife of Tomasz

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Re: Tonight I opened up the urn.
« Reply #1 on: October 31, 2017, 09:59:19 AM »
Hi Leadfeather,
opening the urn is a hard step to take. So glad to hear that you got through it ok. I was surrounded with family when I did that. they did most of the work as I could barely see through my tears. I am very glad they where there as I don't know how I would have done it alone. Overall everything about spreading the ashes was really hard. I think I did it too soon. It was still under a year. But now I am really glad that he is in one of his favorite places on earth that he never got to see in real life. the hill seams like a beautiful place. peace be with you when you spread the ashes.


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Re: Tonight I opened up the urn.
« Reply #2 on: November 01, 2017, 07:36:16 AM »
I have taken my husbands ashes and spread them in various locations. He was a man in motion and I felt he would not want to be in just one place. (An odd thought maybe but it was my thought)

I have dealt with all ash interactions in private ,on my own. Opening the urn , spreading the ashes have been my time with him to say I loved you ,goodbye. At one location when I traveled to europe I was with someone( actually my new BF) and I just explained what i was going to do and he gave me space. Although he was nearby ,it was still a private event.

Goodluck this weekend for me it has always been a peaceful event. Hopefully it will be good for you.


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  • Widowed August 2013
Re: Tonight I opened up the urn.
« Reply #3 on: November 01, 2017, 09:33:45 AM »
I have also spread ashes in some of the places that DH loved.  Opening the urn the first time was difficult, after that it was okay.  I have taken a few flights with DH's ashes, on the way to spread his ashes in another location.  I usually giggle going through security as I can't imagine explaining to TSA exactly what it is that I'm carrying - DH would have loved this.  Beautiful picture, thank you for sharing.
Have I told you lately how much I love you?