Now I'm ready....

[FaithOverFear]

At the age of 45 I suddenly became a widow July 2015. I never thought I would want to date, let alone feel I would ever want to find love. But here I am 2 years and 3 months later, I am ready. I am strong in my Christian faith and with a lot of prayer and trust, I have gotten through the endless days and nights of tears, wondering how I would get through another day, and thinking I wanted to be alone forever. I miss loving someone and having someone love me. I did not take this decision lightly. After I thought I was ready to date, I still waited a few months to make sure I was really ready. Now is the hard part. Where do you meet a good guy? I don't want a guy who spends all his time in a bar, so that it out. Honestly, where do you meet people? Now that I know I am ready, I want to find that man who is right for me, I just have no idea where to look.

[Portside]

Hi FoF.

When I started dating I used a faith-based site. It doesn't necessarily cut out all the gold-diggers and buttheads but it at least gives you a shared basis to start from.

I met great women through it and eventually found my now wife there.

Just an idea. PM me if you wish.

Good luck - Mike

[Julester3]

Don't do any free dating sites unless you really want to. Too many vipers out there and moved too fast so it was overwhelming. So far I am liking a paid dating service because you can set tight filters and I recommend you do so when you know what is important to you  (faith, distance, education, interests, etc.). I have also heard good things about joining adventure or meetup groups surrounding a particular interest as well. I didn't try that yet. It's a hard step and it takes time so be patient and kind to yourself. Good luck!

[CJF]

Your post sounds alot like me.  It will be seven years soon and I am just now considering it.  I have the same problem - when I know I am ready, where will I look?  I don't think I am cut out for online dating.  I would prefer to meet someone the old fashioned way, but not quite sure how that is done any more.  Good luck to you on your search!! 

[Forgottenwife]

I met my Chapter2 online, and I met him on a free site. I think you can just check out all the different dating sites and maybe try one or two that you like or have a common interest in. Everyone's experience is different. I met more than one nice man online.

I also met people through volunteering and through friends.

I say keep an open mind and try to have fun!

[MikeR]

FaithOverFear,

When you are in your 20's, everyone is dating so it's easier. As we get older, not so much.

I started dating about a year after my wife died (11 years ago ) and it was by chance someone I was talking to on the precursor to this board, the YWBB. It ended up not working out and I tried online dating - not very comfortable with that although I did meet a few ladies. I also tried something called 8 minute dating, which is a speed dating thing here in NJ. Long story short, I did meet people, most didn't work out, but I did finally find someone who I am now planning to spend the rest of my life with.

I don't know where you are exactly, but larger cities should have some kind of speed dating groups. They are better than online dating, IMO, because you get to meet actual people rather than online "who knows what's".

Other ideas are to join groups that interest you - hiking, crafts, sports, adult night school classes, etc. Not a high percentage of eligible singles, perhaps , but at least you might enjoy yourself.  Also, let friends and family know you want to date - they might try to play cupid. I had a few of those, too.

Anything that interests you and gets you in contact with new people has the potential. Just don't get too anxious. It took me nearly 10 years to find my chapter 2.

MikeR