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Getting married

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Hi all.  I would like some input.  I am getting married next year and my fiance and I plan to have a very small intimate wedding with just our immediate family and close friends.  My late husband's sister is wanting to know the date and if she can help.  I was not planning to invite my late husband's family.  Lots of drama with that family and would add too many to the head count.  Has anyone else been in a similar situation and how did you handle it?  Thank you.

Hi, Redcat.

I just went back and read your post from May. It seems that your late husband’d family has not been as friendly or accepting as you might like. I don’t feel that you have any obligation to them to inform them of your plans or include them, either.

Perhaps you can tell her that you don’t have extensive plans for your ceremony that would require assistance, and that chances are you will do something fairly spontaneously when the time comes. Maybe you can give her the impression you might elope. Then if she finds out after the fact that you had an intimate event for close family and friends, you can tell her that you waffled a bit and moved forward without much planning.

Best wishes for you and your fiancé.


Thank you for your reply Maureen.  That is an excellent approach.  Thank you!

Good luck Redcat and congratulations!!

There may be many good reasons why you don't want to invite your late husband's family, but I don't think misleading them would be the best approach.

'We are just keeping it a really small service' should suffice for anyone that asks.


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