Time Frame > Beyond Active Grieving

13 years ago today was the start of a wonderful love story...


Today is one of those days where I feel a strong pull back to this community that meant so much to me for so long.  I'm sorry I've kinda disappeared this last year..."life getting in the way" is a worn-out excuse but one I must scramble for in this instance.  New husband and I bought our first house, work has been rough and the election/politics have really zapped a lot of my time and energy (and occasionally my will to live) but it's been wonderful to log back in and see that this special little corner of the internet is still here for me.  For days like today, when I want share a tiny bit of my story with people who understand.

It was thirteen years ago tonight that I met my handsome, funny music nerd named Tim at a Day of the Dead/Election Night party.  Thirteen years ago today my drunk, foolish 19 year-old self left that party knowing "This is the man for me."  Thirteen years ago today way the start of a wonderful love story that I still long to return to more often than I care to admit.  One that ended by accident, against both our wishes on a terrible April night in 2013.

It's bittersweet having the day we met also be the Day of the Dead.  It means I look back at that night with a smile and a tear and with a heavy heart, knowing that when people talk about the day to honor their dead loved ones, I will always have a certain bespectacled face with a sly, wonderful smile come to mind.  One that I'll never stop missing even as time moves forward and the life I've since built for myself continues to give me opportunities we never had the chance to build together.

Happy Dia de los Muertos, everyone.  Thanks for being here.  Love to you all.   

Good to hear from you MT. 

It is amazing to me how holidays I once glanced at now offer solace. Somewhere there's a cluster of people who speak to death, and honor its claimants.

I didn't know this was the first time you met, T. Ours was online and fellow Tolkien nerds. I miss mine too. I lit a candle for him on Samhain night, and it burned through the Day of the Dead, and it its night.

I'm sorry. Our friendship is the best worst consolation prize I could have asked for.

Best wishes

Thank you for sharing a little piece of your love story. I believe they are important and I never tire of hearing them!




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