Author Topic: And now I'm older than he got to be.  (Read 693 times)

Mrskro

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And now I'm older than he got to be.
« on: November 03, 2017, 05:48:53 PM »
And I don't know why this one is so much harder.

 Our birthdays are 4 days apart.  So really on his last birthday I was already on this planet longer than he was.  But now I"m officially older than he got to be.  How is that even possible? And even worse...and I get it...how others don't see why this is a thing...but it's a thing...a huge thing to me.

I shouldn't be older than he got to be.

BrokenHeart2

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  • Widowed 2013
Re: And now I'm older than he got to be.
« Reply #1 on: November 03, 2017, 06:51:36 PM »
MK they don't get it if they haven't been through this.  I get it.  It was huge to me when I became older than DH a couple of yrs ago.  It just was surreal to me.
Hugs.
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.

daysofelijah

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Re: And now I'm older than he got to be.
« Reply #2 on: November 04, 2017, 08:36:13 AM »
It is a weird feeling. I was three years younger than DH, now I'm three years older than he ever got to be. He'll forever be 39.
Amy, mom to four (15,13,10,6)

Bunny

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  • widowed 2012
Re: And now I'm older than he got to be.
« Reply #3 on: November 04, 2017, 10:31:10 AM »
I guess this is one widow thing I get to skip, since I married someone younger than me. When he died, he was 18 months younger. Now, he's 7 years younger than me. Death math is so discombobulating sometimes!

It is a fearful thing to love what Death can touch.

First Widow

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Re: And now I'm older than he got to be.
« Reply #4 on: November 04, 2017, 10:44:29 AM »
I was only 11 months younger than my husband and it was hard.  Even this year being 2 years older was bittersweet.  (((hugs)))
"But slowly he stole my broken heart and put the pieces back together while I wasn’t looking…and I love him."

sojourner

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Re: And now I'm older than he got to be.
« Reply #5 on: November 04, 2017, 11:41:30 AM »
I get it, Mrskro; will there soon, myself. :(

Lmsmdm

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  • Joined Ywbb July/2011
Re: And now I'm older than he got to be.
« Reply #6 on: November 05, 2017, 07:52:20 PM »
December of 2016. It was brutal. I so get this.
You hate me don't you? Yup, so much I married you twice! :)

eggpal

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Re: And now I'm older than he got to be.
« Reply #7 on: March 12, 2018, 10:24:41 PM »
I remember that day, and that feeling. It threw me for a loop, that's for sure. ((hugs))

sojourner

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Re: And now I'm older than he got to be.
« Reply #8 on: March 12, 2018, 11:38:14 PM »
I feel for you, too. It hit me the other day that, while I'm now the same age in years that he was when he died, in terms of months I've now had a longer life in this world than he had.

donswife

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Re: And now I'm older than he got to be.
« Reply #9 on: March 13, 2018, 09:45:02 AM »
Yes I totally get it ....
This just happened to me this past weekend
I was away with family and friends but still always had that feeling that is it so unfair
that he didn't get to have any more birthdays and I am now older then he will ever be and it sucks
 
My everything

beth_krkswidow

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Re: And now I'm older than he got to be.
« Reply #10 on: March 13, 2018, 05:31:52 PM »
I get it. Absolutely.  It freaks me out that I'm only 3 years younger than him now. And I'm supposed to be 5 years younger. Can't imagine when I reach his age.
"Until my last breath, I loved you more than life itself." ~Kirk, in his envelope to be opened only upon his death.  And now I to you, My Love, until my last breath...

TheWidowWhisperer

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    • The Widow Whisperer
Re: And now I'm older than he got to be.
« Reply #11 on: March 15, 2018, 10:16:37 AM »
My husband was older than I, but when I reached the age he was when we married it took my breath away. There is an unspoken burden to being a survivor.
Hoping my experiences can help
https://thewidowwhisperer.com

Stagger Onward Rejoicing

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Re: And now I'm older than he got to be.
« Reply #12 on: March 30, 2018, 08:39:13 AM »
Yes, it is so extremely weird. Just another way we are reminded of what they are missing, and what we are missing with them.