Author Topic: Starting to Tread the Deeper Waters ... between budding and fully committed ...  (Read 5251 times)

arneal

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Happy Monday all!
The 'I love you' thing happened accidentally with BF and I. Can you say awkward? Lol. However, I too am one of those who isn't good at saying it but try to show it.
I once read something about mirroring, particularly regarding body language. Like if your guy (or girl) rubs your face when you kiss, do it back to him or her once in a while because that is how love and closeness are expressed. I have started doing things like reaching for hugs randomly through the evenings because BF does that. It's a way to say the words without saying the words  :o :D
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

sudnlysngl

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Happy Monday all!
I once read something about mirroring, particularly regarding body language. Like if your guy (or girl) rubs your face when you kiss, do it back to him or her once in a while because that is how love and closeness are expressed. I have started doing things like reaching for hugs randomly through the evenings because BF does that. It's a way to say the words without saying the words  :o :D

Happy Monday back to you!

So I was wondering, does this mirroring work for other expressions as well??? lol

Like the next time I see my soon to be ex, when he starts to be an ass to me can I just act out with mirroring what he has been doing to me for the last few years ? ;D

arneal

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Ha sdnlysngl -- one can only hope  ;D ;D ;D
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b

tybec

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Hey all,

No drama!  Woo hoo! 

NG is staying at my place tonight as I have to be out of town and am leaving early. He is hanging with my son, then. This is a big deal.  I don't ask for his help often, as many times, it is conflict with his boys' schedule. So, he has his boys for the 2 hr. dinner he is allotted. He will come over afterwards. 

He also put the down payment for our mutual vacation in July. I am committed, therefore.  He has Metallica tickets for us in JAN. 2019.  Not my thing, but I'll support him.

He has been coming over or meeting me out to walk after work or work out regularly if he does not have his children.  He is trying, and I do feel so much better about us.

Yes, I still have my over thinking.  He is learning how I operate. 

Interesting, his kids were standoffish after they spent a week with their mother for spring break.  NG went 2 weeks without having them at his home because of their schedule, then, except for soccer or play practice.  He ate with them at school one day to connect.  They were warmed back up to him this weekend. That is really sad for me to hear. The oldest has anxiety and is throwing up the first night of the time with their dad. ugggghhhh........

The 50/50 shared parenting bill is on the governor's desk, so hopeful for the state. This just means when separation and divorce occurs, there is a presumption of 50/50 shared parenting unless otherwise shown needing differently.  Right now, it is the opposite, one parent can take the kids and go and have no contact and get the minimal visitation schedule which is what she did when moving to this state.  It was 50/50 in the other state they resided.

Interestingly, the older son told his dad his dad could afford to do cool stuff all the time with them as the dad only has them for a short amount of time.  Hmmmmm.....   The boy also asked me how I made a living, paid for stuff.  He is hearing things, I am afraid.  Again, I stay out of the mom's space.  Two times crossed paths in 2 years. 

My life currently......


arneal

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Sorry to hear his kids have had a rough go, tybec, but it seems you are handling it all like a superstar! Go, you!
Andree'

Seek peace, and pursue it - Psalm 34:14b