Author Topic: The worst night I’ve had in a long while  (Read 306 times)

MissingSquish

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  • widowed 5/20/12
The worst night I’ve had in a long while
« on: November 17, 2017, 11:26:52 PM »
Disclaimer, I’m widowed 5 1/2 years at this point. I’ve chosen to be single. I’ve spent many more weekend evenings alone, and I usually cherish that time to myself.  I mostly have gotten into a rhythm and have r ally cultivated a wonderful life in his absence.  I’ve been able to work through my anxiety, depression and PTSD with a combination of exercise, yoga and meditation. 

Tonight, I feel like I’m back at square 1. I’ve been in the midst of a 2 day panic attack that started with a huge fight with my boss on Wednesday. We had a similar version of the same fight today, and I am feeling extremely angry, defeated and helpless. There is no amount of excercise I did today that has helped to quell my feelings. I tried to meditate this evening and I can’t stop sobbing. I even went to my favorite local restaurant for dinner, and got to catch up with some friends there. There’s a knot in my stomach that won’t go away. It’s been such a long time since I’ve felt this way, that I almost forgot how it felt.

I finally forgive myself for spending so much money on myself in the early days.  Back then, I felt like this all the time. Thanks for listening to my rant. I’m hoping that the anti anxiety medication kicks in soon and I’ll finally get some relief.
Gone but not forgotten.....my Squish.

Miss you forever baby girl, my Pru!

cathyr

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Re: The worst night I’ve had in a long while
« Reply #1 on: November 17, 2017, 11:50:30 PM »
Rant away all you want.  For me, work related stress can trigger all kinds of emotions and intensify any other issues going on in my life.  I hope your work dynamics settle down and relieve some of your anxiety.  Just wanted to let you know that you are heard and I'm sending virtual hugs and positive thoughts your way.

Julester3

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Re: The worst night I’ve had in a long while
« Reply #2 on: November 18, 2017, 06:57:21 AM »
Absolutely vent! Work stress is an aweful anxiety trigger! Hugs!

JeanGenie

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  • Widowed 4-22-2013
    • Personal Blog
Re: The worst night I’ve had in a long while
« Reply #3 on: November 18, 2017, 07:04:02 AM »
MissingSquish,
Just letting you know you're being heard. As others have said, work stress can trigger all kinds of emotions. I had the same problem last Friday (I'm 4.5 yrs out). I was feeling overwhelmed and stressed at work and then one more thing happened at home and it triggered a total meltdown one of the worse that I haven't experienced in a while. The good news is that by Tuesday of this week, I was through it. But it was through the support of close friends who listened to my crazy ranting that helped me survive.  So rant away and know we're here.
{{Hugs}}
I miss how happy I was with you.

MissingSquish

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  • Posts: 406
  • widowed 5/20/12
Re: The worst night I’ve had in a long while
« Reply #4 on: November 18, 2017, 04:43:05 PM »
Thank you guys so much. I am a bit better today. I had a bit of an anxiety hangover, but it’s mostly gone away. I’m focusing on the here and now and it’s the weekend.
Gone but not forgotten.....my Squish.

Miss you forever baby girl, my Pru!