Socializing > Relationships/Remarriage

Getting married without the wedding

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Did anyone not do a wedding? NG suggested mid May to get married. I want to get married, but I have no desire to do a wedding again. If I can talk him into it, I'd just as soon have a very small, short ceremony at the courthouse or someplace small. Between us we have 6 kids. I would really love for it to just be us and the kids. His sons will be 18 and 21 in May so they could be the witnesses I think. Just do that on a Saturday afternoon and then all go out for dinner afterwards? Then have a small reception for family later in the summer maybe.
My parents would probably be mad, but I've stopped trying to cater around them being mad about me not doing the right thing anymore. Life's too short.

I did the wedding for 2 on the beach in Hawaii. We met a couple from Australia when we were there and asked them to be our witnesses.

We were happy.


We went to the courthouse and then had a really nice meal, went out for some drinks and told everyone we met we had just tied the knot, spent the night in a B&B nearby - that was in February.  It was great!  There were visa/green card considerations so we wanted to do it as soon as we had permission.

We had a big back yard party for anyone who wanted to come in July.  My best friends are spread out from TX to NC to Philadelphia to Boston but they all came the day or two before and we had a little party just with the besties the night before the big party and they helped us on the day of to pull it off.  My daughter had a gaggle of kids here for the party and a pinata and both of Andy's kids were here from England.  We do a lot of work with refugees so we had the party catered with homemade foods made by refugees.  It was great! 

Do what you want to.   It is your marriage.  People will have to deal.  Just mho.  Happy for you, fellow GBM traveler.  xoxoxox

IF I do get married again, no big wedding.  Did it once, and no need to do it again. 

Do what you want, like TooSoon stated.  Others will deal.  Who wants to spend that kind of money unless you just have it? A lovely wedding celebration can be made without breaking the bank.  Meaningful probably is the most important for us now. 

If I get married again, I hope we will go somewhere, maybe with the kids, maybe not, and we will let people know we are there getting married. Come on if you wish. 

I like the idea of having a reception/party/BBQ, whatever later if you want to celebrate with others.

We had our 5 kids, our siblings, and my mom.  We included our immediate family because, well, we like them, lol.  It was also important for me that they all got to see our 5 kids being happy for us and with each other and the vows we made to each other's kids.

If we didn't get along or felt unsupported by our families  I would have done it without them no problem.

You get to decide what is right for you and who you want to share this special moment with.

One thing I suggest is to make it special and meaningful for the two of you.  Initially I didn't want any fuss or ceremony but H. suggested it should be treated as an important event because it is.  In the end I wrote the ceremony myself and we each wrote our own vows.  I felt like we really honored our love and commitment to each other.  You can make it meaningful in a court house, a backyard or a chapel and the two of you get to define what makes it meaningful.

Like you said, life is too short. 


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