Author Topic: Getting married without the wedding  (Read 1577 times)


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Re: Getting married without the wedding
« Reply #15 on: November 21, 2017, 04:10:19 PM »
 I eloped to Jamaica the first time... just the two of us, to this day I'm not sure what I agreed to in our vows,  and it was prefect for us.
NG would like a wedding. My kids would like a wedding, my sisters regularly ask if  I went off and got married without telling them again,  and both our boy scouts and my girl scouts think they are all invited to this wedding that isn't even planned yet. But I don't know what I want to do...I figure the last time I knew and it felt right so hopefully that's how this time will work as well - we'll talk about it and something will just feel right.


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Re: Getting married without the wedding
« Reply #16 on: November 30, 2017, 09:38:38 PM »
First time around I had a church wedding; interdenominational.  My mother had passed away 8 months before I got married.  After 22+ years of marriage my husband passed from inoperable lung cancer. 

Six years after his passing I met a great guy.  He was married three times.  His first two marriages ended in divorce.  His third marriage ended when his wife passed from breast cancer.  He thought he finally found somebody to go through life with.  We've been together over 4 years.  In July of 2016 he moved in.  Luckily, for me my daughter is so happy that I found someone.  I have siblings who really like him.  My friends are so happy for me. 

As for marriage.  We have talked about it but it would be financial suicide for us.  Especially for me.  We plan on spending the rest of our lives together.  I have no problem with others who find their Chapter 2 and remarry.  For me.............maybe sometime down the line.  Just not now.


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Re: Getting married without the wedding
« Reply #17 on: December 01, 2017, 06:51:11 AM »
patswife, the financial part is a little scary for me. I know I will lose my survivor's benefits, but I would also be getting those reduced this year for the first time anyway because I got a new job that pays more than the $16k allowed anyway. I need to make an appt. to talk to ss to see what will happen. Also I'm afraid the kids and I will lose the state health care assistance we get now. But we will make it work, I do need to find out all that info though.

A little update we decided to do a small ceremony at a beautiful garden park in the larger town near ours. It will be perfect. I reserved the date for May 26th, 11:00-1:00! We can have up to 50 people, but they only allow 10 chairs. So I'm thinking it will probably just be us, the kids, our parents, and maybe our siblings & families. That should add up to less than 30 at the most, not exactly what I would have picked, but I think it will be nice.

Now to find an officiant and figure out if we will do lunch after!
Amy, mom to four (15,13,10,6)


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Re: Getting married without the wedding
« Reply #18 on: December 09, 2017, 08:21:42 AM »
While my family wasn’t thrilled, we had a justice of the peace come to our backyard. Our kids were there (all teens) one else. It was perfect.


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Re: Getting married without the wedding
« Reply #19 on: December 15, 2017, 03:02:32 AM »
I just remarried at the beginning of the month. We have no children between us and live over 1000 miles from any family. We wanted it simple, just us  & surrounded by nature. Many family and friends weren't happy about it but it was perfect for us!
In the late spring, we're going to have a special dinner with immediate family, to celebrate.
Make it about you both, you owe it to yourselves. I wanted nothing to resemble my 1st & pretty big wedding. The only thing that did, was the nature part but I guess that's because it's such a part of me.
Congrats & best wishes.


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Re: Getting married without the wedding
« Reply #20 on: December 21, 2017, 10:37:42 AM »
NH and I married at the tax assessor's office. Shorts and flip flops. They had a hokey "beach" scene mural with some fishing net and starfish hung around the edges and we stood in front of that to have our picture taken on his cell phone. We had already lived  together for seven years at that point and would have been fine to continue on that way but i needed his health insurance.

Afterwards we had seafood at a nice restaurant. Then went to Walgreens.

Big day!


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    • The Widow Whisperer
Re: Getting married without the wedding
« Reply #21 on: March 17, 2018, 02:40:37 PM »
It makes my heart soar to read all of these responses. Do whatever you and your new spouse want. It's nothing short of a miracle that you found someone you want to marry, don't let anything get between you and what you want.

Mazel Tov
Hoping my experiences can help