Socializing > Social Encounters

So you still call your late spouses family in-laws?

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I'm very close to my in-laws too. They're all coming to my house for Thanksgiving. I refer to them as my in-laws, my daughter's grandparents/aunts/uncles, or Phil's mom/dad/sister. It really depends on who I'm talking to.

I number my MIL’s. I only keep in contact with MIL #1.


I'm close to my in-laws, and refer to them still as in-laws.  My kids are their only grandchildren, so we see them frequently.  Initially it's been a surprise to the guys I've dated that I'm in touch still with my in-laws.  I explain that our relationship continues even though DH is gone, and then it's okay.  I think it's great that your MIL let you know that she is supportive of you dating or not.

Good question and discussion.

Now I am in new relationship with NG.  Holidays are to be spent with him, his family or mine. Extended family are in different states.  He gets his kids limited time. We can't do it all.  So, the in-laws are becoming less and less to me and my son out of necessity to see our new folks in our lives, potentially step-family.  My MIL invited me and NG to the big family Christmas, but NG is not taking his kids to be with my late husband's family on his limited time, out of state, too.  It is hard.  If we lived close, maybe, but not the case.

My mil stills calls me her daughter in law and sends me cards with that.  I know it is weird for people to have me refer to her as MIL yet I am dating and unmarried. Another strange situation.

I like how folks here have made it work for them.  I think it  is most important to do so, find a way for you.

PS.  When NG posted us on FB in a relationship, not ONE in-law responded.  There are at least 50 on line.  NOT ONE.   

Yeah, this is a strange area for me as well, but not so much with parents. LHs mom was already dead when we met and his dad died the year or so before we got married, so no inlaws of that sort to content with. However, he has many cousins, an auntie and uncle, and his daughter. I am close to two of the cousins and call them 'cousin'; struggle with what to call his daughter as I have separated emotionally from her quite a bit. She is still mourning I think because she didn't stay in touch with her dad as much as she feels she should have as a daughter. I can't comfort her in that way as I lived through the worst of his illness and can't re-hash as I go on with life. She is about to be 32 after all. I tend to call her my former husband's daughter but occasionally say stepdaughter. It is weird indeed. I get a bit uncomfortable when some of the others call me from time to time. It just feels strange now that he is gone. I guess it's because I come from a small family and we don't really keep in touch; I don't know how to 'do' family in this situation ...


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