Author Topic: Today was the last first holiday without her.  (Read 452 times)

Leadfeather

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Today was the last first holiday without her.
« on: November 23, 2017, 09:32:47 PM »
I really don't have a lot to say. Just wanted to acknowledge this somewhere publicly. This Thanksgiving was the last of the holidays where she was alive the last time we celebrated it.  She died unexpectedly on Sunday the 27th of November last year, three days after Thanksgiving. The 27th this year falls on a Monday, but that does not seem like the anniversary of her death to me. The anniversary for me will always be the Sunday after Thanksgiving, regardless of the actual date that Sunday falls on.

I am doing well, the boys are doing well. I miss her. The missing has become something that no longer debilitates me. I can face my grief, even embrace it, and move forward.

Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.
-Corrie Ten Boom

Missing AC

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Re: Today was the last first holiday without her.
« Reply #1 on: November 24, 2017, 11:41:15 AM »
Leadfeather, we are running along a similar timeline.  Thanksgiving was the last Holiday we got to spend with him as well.  Sunday the 27th of November of last year has meaning for me as well but in a different way.  It was the day he ended up in the ER after experiencing chest pain and losing consciousness.  He was still with us the following Monday and I was hopeful.  Honestly, the thought of losing him never crossed my mind - I could never imagine such a thing. Then he died unexpectedly on Tuesday November 29th.  LIke you, the Tuesday after thanksgiving seems more like the anniversary then the actual date.

Glad to hear you and your boys are doing OK.  It amazes me how we manage to find the strength to continue on.

Missing AC

Leadfeather

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Re: Today was the last first holiday without her.
« Reply #2 on: November 24, 2017, 12:34:59 PM »
Thank you Missing AC, it is strange that is seems so long ago and yesterday at the same time.
Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.
-Corrie Ten Boom

RyanAmysMom

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  • Seek joy.
Re: Today was the last first holiday without her.
« Reply #3 on: November 24, 2017, 01:00:10 PM »
Clearly you're doing better at recovering than I am - I have missed my David for 865 days....  And it hasn't gotten much easier....   And his birthday is next month - so I decided to invite everyone I know and have a big party for him- hoping a change in my perspective and attitude will ease it some....

Leadfeather

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Re: Today was the last first holiday without her.
« Reply #4 on: November 24, 2017, 01:20:54 PM »
That sounds like a great idea RyanAmysMom. I hope it helps you find peace. I don't mean to imply that I do not miss Christine. I miss her everyday.

I just know that if she could tell me what she wants for me it would be for me to build a good, new, life from the ashes of the old. So in some ways moving forward and making a new life is my way to honor her memory.
Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.
-Corrie Ten Boom

MR

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Re: Today was the last first holiday without her.
« Reply #5 on: November 24, 2017, 03:53:25 PM »
I am also doing something different this MA and her birthday thinking might bring some changes in me. I am 1 year 3 months out. Let's see how it goes. Next month is MA.

hachi

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Re: Today was the last first holiday without her.
« Reply #6 on: November 28, 2017, 08:05:06 AM »
The 27th this year falls on a Monday, but that does not seem like the anniversary of her death to me. The anniversary for me will always be the Sunday after Thanksgiving, regardless of the actual date that Sunday falls on.

Ahh, yes, the "Calendar of the Heart" I hope that today treats you gently. And that in the not too distant future you will have a happy memory. While I did not think I would, I did have my first anniversary of a happy day about a month later. Friends had taken me to a concert. It was a mixture of tears and laughter, but overall a happy memory, and I wish one for you, Leadfeather.
If you can't explain it simply, you don't understand it well enough.      ~ A. Einstein

sojourner

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Re: Today was the last first holiday without her.
« Reply #7 on: November 29, 2017, 10:02:30 AM »
I get that about the day being linked to a holiday or certain time of year. LH and I were married on Saturday of Labor Day weekend; despite how the actual date rotates through the week, that day always feels like my anniversary. Passover time is when we had to tell the kids he wouldn't make it. And the 3rd Saturday of May/the Friday after Mother's Day- is always when he died, in my mind.

I always acknowlege the big days one way or another, even if it's just getting flowers in the house in remembrance. Peace to you as you make your way forward in this new life, Leadfeather.