Specific Situations > Young Widowed Parents

My son

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Thanks for sharing,  my daughter sounds a lot like your son, and goes away to University next year.

I'm so glad to hear your son is headed in the right direction.  University can be such a struggle without the added burden of grief on top of it.

Thank you for your post Klim.  It was good for me to read it because I am dealing with a 14 yr old who is really struggling  and, on some days, I'm not sure how I can endure for long enough to see him through to adulthood.  It really helps to hear from others who have made it through the struggles and are now seeing some positive outcomes. 
My son is also introverted and withdrawn (he won't eat school lunch because it would mean that he has to deal with the servers who are other students) and at home he just holes up in his room and only comes out to pop some frozen food in the microwave--doesn't even want to eat dinner with his brother and me. It is hard to tell how much is caused by puberty or the pressures of school and social situations and how much is from grief but it is a turbulent ride to be on and it changes almost hourly.  Sometimes he seems responsible and pleasant and then without warning he starts raging about something and refuses to do his homework.  As parents of teens, I'm sure you are all familiar with the Dr Jekyll/Mr Hyde routine.
Thinking about how his life would be different if his dad was still around is almost unbearable for me. As does thinking about how much his dad is missing by not being around to see how his sons are growing into young men.  It really stinks that our kids have to grow up without one of the people who loved them most.  I know that they are adaptable and may even be stronger because of this but what a heartache they have to carry along the way and for the rest of their lives.
So, keep posting about your good news.  It's very heartening to hear about!  And give yourself a pat on the back for doing such a good job.  We all should give ourselves a lot of credit for doing this parenting job and doing it solo.


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