Time Frame > Beyond Active Grieving

I'll never......

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I had a lot of preconceived notions about things.  I thought I would never..... fill in the blank.  I wrote on the old board I would never date again.  I was happy to have had a once in a lifetime love, and it was good enough for me.....     Almost 2 years of dating NG.  I thought I would live in the same town until my son at least graduated.  I moved 4 months ago.  I thought I would retire from my old job.   I left at 19 yrs. and started my own practice.   I thought I would always be close to the in-laws since they were ingrained into my life for almost 3 decades. Now I find it hard to make time for them, my family and now, meeting NG and his family.  They never visited before DH died, so they certainly don't reach out now.  I just had all these ideals, and life threw me curve balls.  I have learned to punt.  I AM LEARNING to stretch out my beliefs and ideas about what is okay for me. 

Beyond grieving.  WHO is this woman?   ;)

What is your "I'll NEVER....."?

Ha ha!  So many "I am never going to *fill in the blanks*"  And I reneged on every single one!  I swore up and down, left and right, backwards and forwards that I would never, EVER date again; that it would be just us two girls against the world.  So much for that!  And it happened where and when I was least expecting it might even be possible.  Go figure!!  The "I'll nevers" need to go the way of the "shouldas, wouldas and couldas" in my opinion.  We all know better than most that life changes and we change with it. 

Great Post!

I too had some of these, and then life took its course and so many things changed for me. I am involved with my NG for almost five years now. I said 'I'll never move away from my community.' The trauma for my kids of losing their father was so great that I wanted to keep everything the same. Nope. I moved across town and have seen the possibility of moving to another state or country. I never thought this would be me!     

I said I would never change my career and it never would have occurred to me that I would open my own business.  When he knew he was dying and said "when you marry again..." I said I would never, and here I am, married.  I said I would never move until youngest graduated highschhool, I moved (only across town) when he was in 6th grade.

Then there is the "I will never smile again" "I will never fall asleep without crying" "I will never forget every detail about his illness and dying"

Many days I wonder who am I?

I believed I'd never have real feelings for someone again.  I didn't think I'd be alone forever necessarily, but I thought it wouldn't ever reach to the center level inside me ever again, I didn't think I'd ever feel that magnetism, that draw to someone that is of course part lust but part something more - more than personality, more than sex, more than compatibility, more than emotional attachment.  I thought that died with him.  It didn't. 

I thought all my (unconceived, unborn) babies died when he died - I thought I'd never be a mother.  I now have a 3 1/2 year old. 

I thought I'd never leave the City (except *MAYBE* for another city).  Now I live out in the country and we're about to buy land. 


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