Author Topic: One month in  (Read 500 times)


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One month in
« on: January 28, 2018, 01:51:53 PM »
One month ago, I woke up to find that my beautiful wife, soulmate, and best friend had passed away during the night after a prolonged cancer battle.  My world was completely shattered.  There have been some OK days and more than a few not so OK days.  I started counseling last week to help process some of my emotions, but the days seem to be getting a worse than before.  I feel more lost than ever and I find it very difficult to have find happiness or joy in any activities I used to enjoy.  But even though the sadness and pain have been tremendous, I am forever grateful for my time with her.  She was worth going through this hell I am trying to survive.


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Re: One month in
« Reply #1 on: January 28, 2018, 02:03:23 PM »
I am so sorry for you loss. Words seem like poor tools to express  the emotion of losing a spouse but  there are people here who understand.

Take each moment as it comes and know you will get stronger and you ability to cope will grow over time.
Never be afraid to trust an unknown future to a known God.
-Corrie Ten Boom


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  • Widowed 1-13-13 joined YWBB 6-10-13 Loc: RI
Re: One month in
« Reply #2 on: January 28, 2018, 02:21:29 PM »
I'm sorry you lost your soulmate. I also woke one morning to find my wife had died during the night. It was unexpected despite the fact that she had been ill for some time.  That was a little over 5 years ago.  I understand the pain and complete destruction you are feeling at this time.  Try to take care of yourself one moment, hour or day at a time.  I won't tell you that things only get better...there were days that did get better and then some that slipped back to the awful beginning but in time the distance between those awful days got longer. As someone else once said your track record for daily survival is 100% in spite of how you may feel on any given day.

There are people here who will listen and have been where you are. I wish you moments of peace...
Those we love don't go away, they walk beside us everyday.
Unseen, unheard, but always near, still loved, still missed and very dear.


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Re: One month in
« Reply #3 on: January 28, 2018, 04:54:44 PM »
I'm sorry you have had to join us.  My best advice looking back is this: be kind to yourself and don't try to do too much, too fast.  There will be wild ups and downs and that is upending and painful but it is normal.  This is a great resource of supportive people who really do understand - lean on us.  It does get better.  It just takes time.  Wishing you, as rifoffour said, moments of peace. 


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  • Cancer Widow November 2011
Re: One month in
« Reply #4 on: January 29, 2018, 06:23:32 AM »
Hi Matts

Welcome to the club you never wanted to join. I am a cancer widow just over six years out. Grief is like a rollercoaster. Ups, downs and crazy turns. The key is to live it. Be sad, angry, shocked, disappointed, etc. Feel the feelings. Counseling is a good tool. Its a journey we must take. Over time there will be more good days than bad.

Sending you strength.
My life is better because you were in it. You encouraged me to stretch my wings. I will forever be grateful. Rest in Peace Babe. Till we meet again.


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Re: One month in
« Reply #5 on: February 08, 2018, 07:34:07 PM »
Oh matts, I  am so sorry. Sorry for your loss. Sorry you are going through this hell. So so sorry
At your point I was still catatonic. 
Give yourself grace.
Sending hugs.
"Until my last breath, I loved you more than life itself." ~Kirk, in his envelope to be opened only upon his death.  And now I to you, My Love, until my last breath...


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  • Newlywed to Widow
Re: One month in
« Reply #6 on: February 08, 2018, 11:18:58 PM »
I'm so sorry for your loss. If there's one thing I've learned in my short time as a widow it's that you have to roll with the tide. Something may feel right to you one day and you think you've got it all figured out, and the next day that same thing drags you down, and that's ok. Be kind, patient and loving to yourself.