Time Frame > Newly Widowed (1 day to 6 months)

My turn

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Jdubb:
Hi everyone,  ive been lurking the last few weeks,  just now getting around to telling my story. 

My wife and I have been married since 2003,  hasnt always been great,  but we've stayed together through everything.  She was diagnosed with heart failure in 2013,  she kept on working despite being in some pain and being short of breath sometimes.   She had a pacemaker put in a few years later.   Was having alot of chest pains,  dizzyness,  but she wanted to keep going in her career and not sit back on disability.  I know she hurt alot more than she let on.  It was really tough on everyone. 

She got offered a management position 3 states away,  and took the job,  kind of flying back and forth to see each other.   We celebrated our 14th anniversary in mid October.   Spent some time in Tucson and Tombstone Arizona.  We enjoyed seeing her with a title at work,  the vest and a crew working under her. 

On October 26th,  she was supposed to be at work at 4pm,  my 18 year old stepson was staying there,  says she was dressed for work and left around 2pm.   She never showed up for work,  never called in.  Was found in her car fully engulfed in flames at 10pm that night less than a block from the apartment.  In a parking lot or something.  They still wont give me all the details.  They say her phone was turned off some time before hand.  She was concious when paramedics got her out of car,  said somebody tried to carjack her,  had a light knife wound to leg. 

She fought through surgeries and skin grafts for the next 2 and a half weeks,  then passed away from complications from the heart failure and injuries.  She was burned over 50% of her body.  She says she was doused in an accellerant and lit,  before they put her under heavy medication for the injuries,  and put in feeding tube and ventilator.   

Nobody saw anything,  or if they did,  the police wont say.   There is nothing on the news about it in the local media,  they arent looking for witnesses.... 

I had them look into a few things,  she wasnt paying on the apartment,  it was in eviction mode,  i had detectives look into her gambling habits,  they say she would get paid on a prepaid debit card,  be at the casino waiting for it to get loaded with her paycheck,  then basically put the entire thing in a slot machine,  and be down 900 dollars by morning.   I knew she had some gambling issues,  and was always broke for the last 3 or 4 years,  but that was a surprise to me.   

She also left my stepson the apartment key and gate key for the complex on that day.  I found that unusual.  There are alot of things that make me think suicide,  but I may never know for sure.  She had a 9mm gun,  but we found out she had pawned it.   She made calls to the pawn shop that day (maybe to try and get it back)  but she also called the DMV??  Nothing about it makes sense. 

Jdubb:
Strangest thing.  The night this happened,  I had a dream,  she was with me at work and telling me that she had wrecked the car (it was my car)  as if she was apologizing for what happened.   

That night my stepson called and woke me up at 3am,  and told me what the detectives were telling us,  she was attacked near the apartment......  was in burn center in phoenix......  thats all the info they would tell us until much later the next day.   

I remembered the dream later that day,  and it started to make sense. 

Julester3:
I am so sorry you are here with us. I hope reading through has helped you in any way process or understanding your feelings. The circumstances sound very shocking but I do believe if there is an investigation underway, then that is why everything is quiet and they can't disclose anything to you.

Wheelerswife:
I’m so sorry you are having to cope with all of these confusing circumstances on top of the loss of your wife. Not everyone feels that they can expose their own demons, I suppose?  I know that I would want answers, too. In the meantime, I hope you can find support and people who will listen to your story. We are here and can handle it all.

Peace,

Maureen

Jdubb:

--- Quote from: Julester3 on December 09, 2017, 08:34:31 AM ---I am so sorry you are here with us. I hope reading through has helped you in any way process or understanding your feelings. The circumstances sound very shocking but I do believe if there is an investigation underway, then that is why everything is quiet and they can't disclose anything to you.

--- End quote ---

I just wonder if the investigation will ever be completed.  I feel like they have absolutely nothing to prove what actually happened, any evidence burned.  I've pretty much come to just accept that it happened,  and I may never know for sure,  just have to go with what I feel happened in my heart.

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