Author Topic: Deaths and services  (Read 364 times)


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Deaths and services
« on: December 16, 2017, 05:06:47 PM »
This week my MIL died of pancreatic cancer. I found out about 6 weeks ago that she was terminal. Thankfully I told all 3 of my Dds and we all got to see her over their thanksgiving breaks. I had td my 2 older girls to make time for a visit because grandma might not make it to Christmas break. She died finals week.
Also this week a friend died, jenna was 33yo and was the children's pastor at the York haven campus of our church. Jenna and her dh were youth pastor's when my older girls were in youth group. She's also my youngest Dd best friends mom. She used to take my dd for weekends every couple of months after my lh died. She leaves a husband and 5 kids, 3 of them adopted special needs kids.
My heart is heavy. I've cried more then I have in years. 
There are no services for my MIL. Jennas services are tomorrow. This is the first one I've been to sense my lh died. I'm dreading it.  I need peace.


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Re: Deaths and services
« Reply #1 on: December 16, 2017, 07:43:18 PM »
I'm so sorry, imissdow.

In the 3 1/2 years since LH's death, my father, two favorite aunts and an uncle have passed, plus an uncle of LH. I only attended my father's services. He was 93, so his/theirs were, I don't know?,  natural deaths?? Not quite sure how to put that, but definitely in keeping with what is considered as the natural order of things. Even tho I was at peace with my father's passing, I still struggled during the service, with some parts being very triggering, but I got thru it.

Don't know how I'd do with a younger friend's passing and services, though- oh, boy. I feel so for her husband and kids. Two of my kids were adopted, and when LH died, one of the first things one said was that now she'd lost two dads. (She's gone on to act out in significant ways, despite ongoing counseling.)

I know the family will appreciate your presence. Try to sit near an exit, so you can take a "restroom break" (make a run for it) if needed. My policy now for funerals and weddings.

Strength and Peace to you, during the services and ongoing. And for her family.


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Re: Deaths and services
« Reply #2 on: December 16, 2017, 09:04:47 PM »
That is rough. I'm glad you and your kids had a little time with your MIL before she passed. I am sorry for your friend and her family - it will be hard but I think your presence will help - every person who attends I feel sort of lends some strength to the bereaved family regardless if they know it or not. Hugs and peace to you.