Socializing > Social Encounters

Reaching out after a fading relationship

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Trying to see if I am the only one that has done this. Early on (probably too early), met someone who I had a lot in common with. She was the first person I dated. It seemed like in my mind, I would find fault with little things she did. In my mind, I would make a big deal out of them. Now that I have healed a little more, in retrospect, I was the problem. I think I was over analyzing and looking for things to make the relationship fail. I honestly believe I drove her away by being distant at times and not including her in some of my plans. I know I was probably more of the reason our relationship ended than she was. I know I was I really did not give her a fair chance.

I just was not really ready yet. Has anyone ever felt like this and more importantly have you ever opened up communications after a relationship has ended. Thought about reaching out to her, if nothing else comes of it at least she will know I was the problem and was not ready for a full-fledged relationship yet. Anyone ever face something like this? How did you handle it?

I have not experienced that but my advice is to contact her again. The worse that happens is you apologize, it does not work out, and you both move forward. The best that happens is the two of you build a relationship that lasts. Either way you are better off than you are at this point.

I think it would be lovely for you to reach out, if only to give her the comfort of knowing that whatever rejection(s) she may have felt were not about her.  It's a kind thing to do, and hey you never know, maybe she'll give you another chance. 

Captains wife:
Were you dating a fair amount of time ? If so, it wouldn't hurt reaching out although you may want to establish contact first (with a hello) before sharing these thoughts. She may really appreciate hearing it, even if you don't re-kindle the relationship. And hey - finding someone you want to date in this world is TOUGH enough so if there was something there for both of you, it is worth trying. Impressed with the self-reflection.....

I say reach out to her honestly. Acknowledge that you were a putz. Just don't be like..."Hey, Babe...remember me?"

If you reconnect, take it really slow, but in a thoughtful conscientious way. She will not want to be burned twice. I have found that a couple of the people I dated early on were not a love match, but they have made for excellent friends. 

It's worth a try.


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