Author Topic: Newly Widowed  (Read 1015 times)

matts225

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Newly Widowed
« on: January 14, 2018, 04:08:07 AM »
I lost my beautiful wife Katie to cancer a little over two weeks ago.  We were married for almost 13 years.  The past few days have been so difficult, as it seems the initial shock of her passing has worn off and I realize how lost and heartbroken I am without her.  She was truly the love of my life and I miss her so much.  I never imagined I would be a widower at 38 and be experiencing this much grief and pain.  I pray there will be better days ahead. 

jgib

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  • to be, to know, to lose
Re: Newly Widowed
« Reply #1 on: January 14, 2018, 09:30:30 AM »
Please accept my heartfelt condolences.
There are better days ahead.

Julester3

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Re: Newly Widowed
« Reply #2 on: January 14, 2018, 01:05:15 PM »
So sorry for your loss! Many of us never predicted or planned for our predicaments. Everything will be so fresh and raw for you. Give yourself slack and as much time as you need. Navigating this "new" life is different for everyone but equally hard and challenging. There will be good days, times when you can find your smile or laugh again but there will be sad times that can wipe them out in a second. Take care of yourself and hugs!

BrokenHeart2

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Re: Newly Widowed
« Reply #3 on: January 14, 2018, 03:50:45 PM »
I'm sorry on the loss of your wife.  Welcome to the group nobody wants to join.  You have found a very supportive bunch of people that could help you when it feels like nobody in real life understands what you are going through.  Take it one day at a time and even down to one minute at a time if you need too.  Remember to drink lots of water as crying is very dehydrating. Take care matts255.
Hugs
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.

daysofelijah

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Re: Newly Widowed
« Reply #4 on: January 14, 2018, 09:02:38 PM »
I'm sorry for your loss and that you are enduring this loss. I lost my husband to cancer 5 years ago when I was 37. It is a surreal situation no one should ever have to go through.
Amy, mom to four (15,13,10,6)

matts225

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Re: Newly Widowed
« Reply #5 on: January 16, 2018, 09:17:32 AM »
Thank you all for the kind words.  The past few days have been a little better.  I did visit with her parents yesterday and that was both comforting and heartbreaking being in the house that my wife grew up in.  I will be traveling back home tomorrow to start working part time until I am ready to go back full time.  It will be my first time back to our home without her being there to greet me after a long trip.  I am dreading that moment but I know it is something that I have to do.

Wheelerswife

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Re: Newly Widowed
« Reply #6 on: January 16, 2018, 10:49:03 AM »
Ah, Matt.

My second husband died when I was not at home and returning was difficult.  I'm a traveler myself and left home and returned several times - and none of that was easy.

I'm sorry you had to lose your Katie at such a young age.  The next weeks and months will be full of adjustment for you.  I hope you can find some solace from this board, especially from others in a similar time frame. 

Hugs,

Maureen
Life is short.  Love with all you've got. 

Barry 11/29/55-9/22/09       John  1/16/57-1/11/14

Empathy  Developer  Responsibility  Adaptability Connectedness

amandalgh

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Re: Newly Widowed
« Reply #7 on: January 17, 2018, 01:53:35 PM »
I'm so sorry for your loss. Be kind to yourself, don't deny emotions, feelings, any of it, everything is normal, and NOTHING is wrong with you in how you process this. There is no rulebook on any of it.

The best way I explain my grief  to myself is via video games (I don't play, and don't know where I came up with the parallel). This grief is like a video game level/world that was unlocked. You have never played in this level and did not prepare for it. These emotions I experience are new, I've never experienced this level of sadness, loneliness, heartache. Nobody understands this level of life until they've gone through it.

so like I said, don't be hard on yourself, take one day at a time. And remind yourself that your wife would want you to smile and look at the bright side of things once you're ready. She would want you to take care of yourself as best you can.

Anni

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Re: Newly Widowed
« Reply #8 on: January 19, 2018, 09:22:22 AM »
So sorry about your lost since losing your soul mate hurts more than you think you could ever hurt and makes you feel you will never get rid of that hurt. But you have to find a way to cope with this new way of life to just keep going and everyone has their own way. I am 3 months out and coping has helped most days, but others are just too painful.

Getting back to work will help fill the hours that pain would fill. Go slow are any changes and I will keep you in the light.

Anni
Anni
Minh's Sweetie

James

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Re: Newly Widowed
« Reply #9 on: February 01, 2018, 12:51:53 AM »
My brother, make sure you sob.  That is done with the voice.  I came through those first weeks/months and made it.  Use this forum.  Write whatever the heck you want to write.  This place completely understands you.

You will go through "processing".  I discovered one word that had a lot of meaning for me: LOSS 

Maybe that will help you too.

Eddienhp

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Re: Newly Widowed
« Reply #10 on: February 01, 2018, 06:23:53 AM »
So very sorry for your loss. I lost my husband to cancer. Grief is tough; emotions all over the place, sometimes no emotions at all. It's like a rollercoaster. In the early days you might have to remind yourself to eat, sleep, and do basic self care tasks. People here said to make sure to drink water because crying is dehydrating. They said try to get enough sleep and make sure to eat. I followed their advice the best I could. Another thing they said was I was going to survive this. At a little over 6 years, I can say they were right.

I send you strength. Know you are not alone. You always have us. We get it.
Eileen
My life is better because you were in it. You encouraged me to stretch my wings. I will forever be grateful. Rest in Peace Babe. Till we meet again.

Newgirl

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Re: Newly Widowed
« Reply #11 on: March 17, 2018, 10:08:30 PM »
Rest in power, Katie.

Cancer here too. Together 12 yrs. He was 39.

It's a process. You are going to make it. Keep breathing.