Time Frame > Newly Widowed (1 day to 6 months)

Books that helped you

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Today makes 2 weeks since I found my SO of 10 years unexpectedly gone. He was 30, I'm 29 and I'm terrified that the person I thought I would always be with is gone at such a young age. Everything I thought I had planned with life is now up in the air.

I would like recommendations for books that helped you get through losing a partner unexpectedly, get through the grief process, and any books that deal with the trauma of being the one to find your loved one gone. Thanks

I am so sorry for your loss.

C.S. Lewis "A Grief Observed"

The first three paragraphs of that book so perfectly described how I felt in the early days after finding my wife collapsed in the front yard as the sun set.


@Vintage_lover , I'm so sorry that you've had to come and join this Club. Hopefully this website will give you comfort with time and the support that you need. I also lost my husband Suddenly at a very young age. We were newlyweds. I was 30 and he was 31. I'm now about a year-and-a-half out. I'll tell you right now in the beginning I just found self-help books frustrating and I think it was because I just wasn't ready to deal with anything yet. It does take a while for it all to set in when it happens suddenly. Like your brain won't let it totally sink in. I remember going through a lot of books but there was only one that I actually found helpful and read all the way through. It's called seven choices by Elizabeth Harper Neeld. I hope it helps you too. KK

Thank you for this. The first few days I wailed and wallowed more than I knew possible. Then I got busy planning the services because I demanded perfection. Being busy numbed me. His services have been over for a week, but that numbness hasn't went away. And that has scared me. I felt like I should be feeling more and I didn't understand why I wasn't. So that makes me feel better to know that I'm not alone in what I've been feeling at the beginning.

For the first year, I mostly read on the former iteration of this site.  I was lost and I needed to hear other people's stories so I could try to understand my own.  I am older than you by quite a bit (am 45), as are the authors of these works, but these are the books about being widowed that I loved the most.  I probably read them in years two and three but here are the authors and titles: Elizabeth Alexander, The Light of the World; Joan Didion, THe Year of Magical Thinking; and Colm Toibin, Nora Webster.  They are not self- help books.
The first two are memoirs and the third is a novel. 


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