Author Topic: 4 years today.....  (Read 424 times)


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4 years today.....
« on: January 31, 2018, 09:08:07 AM »
It has been a bit of an emotional lead up to today.  I have been very sensitive and teary for the last couple of weeks.  4 years ago on this date and this is a tough one....
I guess I have in my mind that each year it will get a little easier but this year has been rough.  Just goes to show that I need to expect the unexpected.
I miss him and the life we had.  I have just made some chances to move forward so that could be where the extra emotions are coming from.  I have decided to change jobs and move.  Should all be done and dusted before April.
It is difficult making big decisions and changes all on my own.  Sure makes one accountable for their own actions when it is just one person in the decision!
Looking through pictures, reading his memorial, will go to his favourite restaurant for a meal tonight.  I have to go through some boxes, before the move, that have been tucked away for years.
4 years, were have they gone?


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Re: 4 years today.....
« Reply #1 on: January 31, 2018, 10:29:21 AM »
I relate to so much of your post, and the thoughts below go through my head a lot.

I miss him and the life we had. 

4 years, were have they gone?

There just isn't much choice but to keep living, is there?  So...we make choices and we change jobs and we move and we meet new friends and we try to integrate our past with our present and we somehow have to be open to a future that is different - very different - than the one we previously imagined.

Hugs to you...I hope you can have some good memories today.

Life is short.  Love with all you've got. 

Barry 11/29/55-9/22/09       John  1/16/57-1/11/14

Empathy  Developer  Responsibility  Adaptability Connectedness


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Re: 4 years today.....
« Reply #2 on: January 31, 2018, 11:35:39 AM »
jgib, sending you hugs today.  Expect the unexpected sums up how this journey has been for me.  I hope all of your new changes give you something positive to focus on.
You will forever be my always.


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Re: 4 years today.....
« Reply #3 on: January 31, 2018, 03:06:37 PM »
Im sorry to hear it’s been more painful than expected. My grief no longer seems to have rhyme or reason about it as to what will brings tears and what makes me smile. I will say this though- I do bounce back from things faster now.

Big Hugs. And congrats on taking such courageous big steps!
It is a fearful thing to love what Death can touch.


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Re: 4 years today.....
« Reply #4 on: February 02, 2018, 04:20:02 PM »
Hugs to you jgib
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.


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Re: 4 years today.....
« Reply #5 on: February 04, 2018, 10:11:28 PM »
4 years today for me. I also have a lot of big changes coming up this year for me and my daughters. Sometimes it feels like forever and other times it feels like yesterday. I think it will always hurt. Hugs to you! Good luck with your upcoming changes! You've got this!

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss


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Re: 4 years today.....
« Reply #6 on: February 05, 2018, 10:16:37 AM »
I think it will always hurt too.....just a different kind of hurt each time these things roll around again.
Thank you for all your kind words.  It is nice to be able to share with folks who have an idea about what it is like.


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Re: 4 years today.....
« Reply #7 on: February 13, 2018, 02:45:02 PM »
Where has the time gone.

Seems like forever and seems like yesterday.

sending hugs
"Until my last breath, I loved you more than life itself." ~Kirk, in his envelope to be opened only upon his death.  And now I to you, My Love, until my last breath...