Time Frame > Beyond the First Year (1+ years)

Third year anni approaching

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My 3 year will be this July - and I still feel very much like you do.  Some days I still feel the "fog"....  This can't be my life......  I hate that others understand the pain...   hang in there....

Thank you both.

You hang in there too RyanAmysMom!

I appreciate your post
Such honest feelings and heartbreak that we feel
You nailed it with what you wrote
Hugs to you

Exactly.  Keep venting.  Keep venting.  We understand.  Those imbeciles we have to deal with day in and day out do NOT. They think we should be "over" it.  Like that's even possible.

I AM doing so very much better than I was.  I can see the difference. The horrible excruciating physical pain and anguish is not omnipresent as it was.  I have days of being ok.  I even have fun.

However.  It is as if I am living someone else's life.  It doesn't really feel real.

I want my old life back.  I want the old me back.  I don't like the new me.  And I don't like my new life.

It's all so surreal.

Yes I get that. It does feel surreal.

I keep going, keep moving forward and I can see the progress I'm making, but it feels so very distant to me. Like, indeed, it isn't really my life. I've found an outlet in sports, but even though I know I'm doing better than last year - working out, doing nice things with friends, sharing about the pain - it all feels like a show, a mask I'm wearing and underneath is this deep raw pain and a hole so big as the universe. *sighs* It's tough.


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