Author Topic: Temporary solo parents  (Read 321 times)

canadiangirl

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Temporary solo parents
« on: April 11, 2018, 11:10:22 AM »
Hi, I haven't been on here for a while but it is good to catch up.  Posting here b/c you all will get it.  Guy friend's wife is out of town for 6 days, and he posts on Facebook:  "..begins 6 days of solo parenting today..."

And I am not responding in any way, but you all know the replies I am making up in my head. 

Portside

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Re: Temporary solo parents
« Reply #1 on: April 11, 2018, 12:46:58 PM »
Repeat after me: "Men can be thoughtless."  ::)

Rinse, repeat. :)
The one who blesses others is abundantly blessed; those who help others are helped. (Proverbs 11:25)

Toosoon2.0

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Re: Temporary solo parents
« Reply #2 on: April 11, 2018, 01:35:41 PM »
One of my very best friends is coming to the end of a long and ugly divorce.  We have known each other since we were teenagers and the arcs of our professional/parenting lives have been similar.  She's needed me a lot lately and I am happy to be here for her to lean on, but on Sunday, she said something along the lines of "Well, you know how it is, this is similar to what you went through with Scott in a lot of ways...."  And I kept my mouth shut but was sort of like, "Um, no.  It is nothing at all like that."  People just can't know until they know. 

Glad you're back!  Stick around! 

fairlanegirl

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Re: Temporary solo parents
« Reply #3 on: April 11, 2018, 05:39:23 PM »
Repeat after me: "Men can be thoughtless."  ::)

Rinse, repeat. :)
I'd counter that PEOPLE can be thoughtless, ain't no male monopoly on that!
You're doing well not to respond - I suspect even after seven years I would, gently of course...

canadiangirl

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Re: Temporary solo parents
« Reply #4 on: April 12, 2018, 07:06:33 PM »
Too right, fairlanegirl, but I don't tailor my Facebook posts to my audience, so I don't honestly expect others to either, really.

And yes, TooSoon, no matter how ugly the divorce, watching your partner actually die by inches...they do not compare. 

It was more just...buddy, don't complain, try solo parenting forever...and wistfulness, even after 4.5 years. It has been so hard, and I still ache for my husband, who got such a raw deal.  He would have loved to have had the problem of being sole caregiver for 6 days.

Sigh. Facebook.  But you know, it has helped me stay connected with so many through these rough years.  Otherwise, I would have wilfully been cut off from humanity, except perhaps via these boards (shout out to Justin and Jess).  Take care all.

lost35

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Re: Temporary solo parents
« Reply #5 on: April 13, 2018, 12:52:04 AM »
I have a great and truly amazing group of friends from my son's school.  They are there, though it all, for each other...it's a rare find! 

It's funny though, how often the conversation turns to how much work they have at home or with the kids, or how little their husbands have done that week, or how hard it is, financially.  I get it.  I really do.  And they just need to get it out to deal with it all. 

In the meantime, I sometimes try to blend into the wallpaper so as not to make the conversation awkward.  :) It's my Super Power.  Learned and perfected over the years... :)


Virgo

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Re: Temporary solo parents
« Reply #6 on: April 19, 2018, 06:32:50 PM »
I also hate seeing "hunting widow " or "fishing widow." It doesn't bother me as much now though because people don't know what it's actually like unless it's their reality.
Jen

"Don't cry because it's over. Smile because it happened." Dr. Seuss

BrokenHeart2

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  • Widowed 2013
Re: Temporary solo parents
« Reply #7 on: April 20, 2018, 04:10:09 AM »
I hear you Virgo, and to think I actually used to use those terms.  UGH.  My DH loved to go fishing and hunting with his buddies.  I can't stand those terms anymore.
Hugs
I don't want it to be his legacy that his death destroyed me.
I need to honour his life by rebuilding my life.