I know this isn’t really a widow thing. But I guess because it’s a death thing, it seems to make sense to me to come here. And because YOU are really my people, it seems this is where I can talk about it.
Yeah, I get that we don’t want the comparisons between our dead spouses and a dead pet. That is not what I am doing.
Jim and I were “dog people". But this last dog that I had was mine. Jim died, our dog died and I ended up with another dog that was my dog.
But now, that dog is dead.
As a dog person, you know that you have to say that every now and then. This is one of the now and then times.
She was a different type of dog than one’s I’d had before. She seemed aloof. At least to everyone else. She didn’t really like anyone but me although she tolerated some other people.
But she loved me.
Not in that crazy mindless way that Nickie (the dog that loved everything and everybody) loved me and not like Sophie who had her “issues” loved me, but Lexie loved me because I was her person.
We had each other and we lived a quiet life. Not too much drama. Just two buddies hanging out. Mostly just happy to have a good friend.
She felt no need to hang all over me. She didn’t care if I was in one room and she was in another. Sometimes she felt like sleeping with me and sometimes she didn’t.
Today was a beautiful day and if she was alive, we would have sat on the porch. I’d have read a book. She’d have smelled the world and maybe chased a squirrel or two, or barked at someone walking down the street. I’d have let her bark for a while, and then called her back to the porch. She would have rolled her eyes as if to say “Mom! There are people and critters and all kinds of things going on. Do you expect me to just sit here?”
But that wasn’t how today went.
Because my dog died and I had to sit on the porch by myself.
