Author Topic: Not feeling sad enough?  (Read 3816 times)

Carey

  • Member
  • Posts: 524
  • Widowed 11/23/13 Joined YWBB 12/2/13
Re: Not feeling sad enough?
« Reply #15 on: March 30, 2015, 10:09:23 AM »
Oh Lord.......I looked at one of the other users NAME and put it with YOUR post....geeeeez.....Monday just keeps smacking me on the head......
I can't look at the stars they make me wonder where you are. 
Stars.... up on heaven's boulevard
And if I know you at all
I know you've gone too far
 So I .... I can't look at the stars --Grace Potter

Brenda

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Re: Not feeling sad enough?
« Reply #16 on: March 30, 2015, 10:46:23 AM »
Oh Carey, you made me laugh.  Not much does that these days, so thanks!

robunknown

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  • Posts: 76
  • Widowed October 2014
Re: Not feeling sad enough?
« Reply #17 on: March 30, 2015, 12:06:54 PM »
Brenda,
My wife passed in the beginning of October. My son's birthday was that month then we had all of the holiday's. During that time, I kept it together because I was so busy (for the kid). The grief hit me hard when I realized that that the holidays were over (month 3) and a lot of the support group faded away. It also hit me hard on a selfish note when I mastered the daily grind routine (4 months) and realized that this routine won't change for years. That's when I started planning fun things we could look forward to doing later in the year. Mini-vacations for him, for me, and for the both of us.

I've learned to recognize when I am starting to "stare into the abyss for too long", you can literally feel a weight on your head and shoulders start to push you down. When I start to feel that way I try to change what I am doing by 180 degrees, call my parents to talk about something else, anything really to distract myself.

Hang in there.

mixelated

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  • Posts: 28
Re: Not feeling sad enough?
« Reply #18 on: April 01, 2015, 10:09:50 AM »
Brenda, I'm familiar with that note of anger at myself... but try not to beat yourself up. You may be up and running, but you're still in a disoriented state. There will be a lot of things that you can't figure out, until the world rights itself a little. And I bet she would be happy that you're caring for your kids. It hurts to see someone you love not coping.

(hugs)
m.

And I'm clearly such a shitty spouse that I can't even figure out, after two decades of marriage, whether my wife would be mad that I'm so un-upset, or whether she'd be happy that I'm coping and looking after the kids.