Specific Situations > Other Circumstances

UnWed Widows, come out come out where ever you are!

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pammierae7363:
Bowman and I weren't married when he died.  We both had gone through bad marriages and divorces and weren't ready to "make it legal" just yet.  Although I proposed to him on Leap Year Day in 2012 and we joked about getting married on the 40th anniversary of our first date - 11/14/2015.  (Quick back story - we were sweethearts in junior high, dated for two years, I got scared he would dump me when he went to the high school and dumped him first.  Regretted it immediately.  Things were said and done that were hurtful during the breakup and we didn't speak for over 30 years.  He showed up on Facebook as a friend of a friend 5 years ago and it was like the thirty years apart had never happened.)  He died 01/20/2014 in a car accident on his way to work.  Luckily, he had revised his will, his power of attorney, and his health care advanced directives just a few months before the accident and I was the executor of his estate . . . we wanted to make sure that there were legal "protections" in place if something should happen to one of us.  My wonderful sister and my wonderful mother both told me at the funeral that it didn't matter if there was a "piece of paper" stating I was his wife - we had been in a committed relationship and that God knew the love in our hearts.  The legal system needed the official form from the Probate Court, though, before anyone would talk to me about anything. 

I am blessed that his children and his family accepted me as family. 

fuchsiasky:
Me.  Rob and I were together for 10 years.  He was still legally married to this ex and we just never found the time or money to finish up the divorce.  We always put it to something better.  We were legally common law so I am having no troubles there.  And we had a "wedding" a year before he died.  We knew then that he wouldn't make it.  We knew that dealing with the divorce was just a waste of time and money.  But we had our wedding.  We said what we needed to in front of those that we love most.  So he was my husband...and always will be.

JacklessSally:
@fuchsiasky
My fiancee was also legally married to his ex at the time of his death. We did not know they were still married until September of 2014, and he was killed in November. He had only re-signed the paperwork like.. 21 days prior to when he was killed. So they are still legally married and he is legally her widow..

Ruth:
Hey everyone,

This is my first post here, so I'm feeling rather unsure, but thought maybe this is the best place to start for me.

Michael and I were never legally married according to the laws of my country. However according to the community we grew up in we were married. Our marriage was arranged and I was still a teenager when we got married. We were married for five years and one month when he died at the age of 25. At the time I was pregnant with our daugther, but I lost her eight days after I lost Michael.

That's it for now, thank you for letting me share.

Wheelerswife:
Ruth, you are completely welcome here.   I am so sorry for your losses.  I hope you feel comfortable here and can express whatever is on your heart and mind.  We don't have any rules here for whether or not someone is legally married.  There are others who are very young, also. 

Hugs,

Maureen

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