Author Topic: introduce yourself here  (Read 69962 times)

Jess

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #180 on: September 03, 2015, 11:57:41 AM »
Hi, Not sure if this is the right place to introduce myself.  I am new here but not a new widow.  My husband died  five years ago.  I still have some bad days along with the good ones.  I wanted to say hello and I am thankful to have found this place.

You are in the right place. Welcome to our little corner of the internet. I am sorry you had reason to look for us but I am so glad you found us. It is good to hear that although the sad days don't go away, there are some good ones.
On particularly rough days when I'm sure I can't possibly endure, I like to remind myself that my track record for getting through bad days so far is 100% and that's pretty good. - Unknown

Don't be concerned about being disloyal to your pain by being joyous. - Hazrat Inayat Khan

Joe: 1979- 7/2014

sojourner

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #181 on: September 05, 2015, 01:16:52 PM »
Hi to everyone- I'm finally getting to an introduction after having been a regular reader here and on the old ywbb in its last months. I've so appreciated everyone's openness with their experiences after being widdowed- it's helped so much to know I'm not alone in my own feelings, thoughts, and experiences.

I was widowed in May of '14, when my LH died from lymphoma. He'd been diagnosed in '12 with a form that, while incurable, was supposed to have a long survival.  You can see how well that worked out. I didn't even know lymphoma, which I'd barely even heard of, was a cancer until his diagnoses. Boy, did I get schooled.

Today is the anniversary of our wedding. I bought flowers, as is the way I regularly commemorate our milestones. I'd been feeling like I've been getting more clarity of mind lately. That, however, is headed right back out the window- one of my siblings was just dx'ed with a rare, advanced, and generally incurable cancer, and I'm basically going through flashbacks of LH's decline and death. Oh, and upon getting the news, one of my elderly parents had a mild heart attack, so there's that, too.  Let's just say it's not a good day. Pretty much I'm going back to the early techniques of breathing, drinking water, etc.

I'm so sorry any of us have to be here, but since it is what is is, I'm grateful to at least be in the good company of this community.

lcoxwell

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #182 on: September 05, 2015, 01:40:55 PM »
I am so sorry to hear about the cancer diagnosis of your sibling. I cannot imagine what you are going through. I will keep you in my prayers. (((Hugs)))
"The highest tribute to the dead is not grief but gratitude." - Thornton Wilder

Thank you, my dearest Kenneth, for loving me and for giving me the best 13 years of my life.

kjs1989

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #183 on: September 05, 2015, 02:29:37 PM »
I am so sorry to all those having to find their way here. And some deal with double and even triple whammies of loss which is beyond brutal.. I felt like I pretty much led a very charmed life until October 20th, 2012. No more. I still have many middle aged friends who have not experienced any sort of major loss in their lives beyond an elderly aunt or grandparent. As I have found out, even the best meaning people cannot  truly empathize unless they have walked this path.

Bear Shannon

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #184 on: September 13, 2015, 05:10:11 PM »
I'm back.  :)
Peace ~ Bear

Laurie RIP (Married 1980 .. Widowed 2005)

"Grief can destroy you -- or focus you. You can decide a relationship was all for nothing if it had to end in death, and you alone. OR you can realize that every moment of it had more meaning than you dared to recognize at the time, so much meaning it scared you, so you just lived, just took for granted the love and laughter of each day, and didn't allow yourself to consider the sacredness of it."
~ Odd Thomas (Dean Kootnz)

lilchicken

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #185 on: September 21, 2015, 02:32:24 PM »
Hi All

Some from YWBB may remember me as lilchicken. For those who don't know me I lost my husband, who was 32, in 2009 to metastatic chondrosarcoma. The widow community supported me then in what seemed like impossible times. I am so grateful for the friends I made, both locally and on the board and for this community which has been a safe place to talk and read and think through grief. I remarried in 2013 and we are expecting our second child in a few weeks. I think this, coupled with the anniversary of my husband's death coming up this week brought me back to this board to think about some of the things on my mind this week.

Wishing everyone on the board the peace, healing and support that they need

Lilchicken

THATgurl

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #186 on: September 21, 2015, 03:07:08 PM »
lilchicken!!!! :D  No words, huge hugs.

CherrY

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #187 on: September 23, 2015, 04:14:40 PM »
Hi everyone,
I'm new on this forum and looking for I don't know what...... So here is my story.

Two years ago I finally got what I wanted ! After great months as FWB and falling in love with him, Jason was mine =) During our time together we had so much fun ! After a year and a half we even moved in together. Best time of my life ! Our apartment was filled with love, laughs, sex and tenderness.
But one day, out of nowhere he told me he didn't want to be GF and BF anymore. I was so surprised ! We were having a wonderful time together. But he had made his decision...so I packed my stuff and left (in tears). When I talk (in the present day) about this breakup with his friends and family we all agree he did not even know what happened in his head. A medium on day confirmed our thoughts...Jason had no idea he was going to leave us but something (his soul, spirit, gardien angel ?) urged him to protect me by pushing me away.
Anyhow... two weeks later on the evening of Mother's Day Jason was coming back home from seeing his family and he fell down a cliff with his motorbike. 22 years old is really really really to damned young to die or be a widow !!!!!! Thankfully he did not suffer and broke his neck right in the first meters of the fall.  (I'm still very emotional writing this part).
It's been 5 months now. 5 hell-like months. I miss him so much...and still talk to him when I need to (I tell him about my day, ask for advice or help, tell him I love him etc.) And believe it or not but I even saw him in a reiki session !!! He told me he loved me, that he would always be there, that as we suspected we have known each other for longer than this life and he helped me discover what is my purpose in this world.
His mom, sisters, stepdad, friends and I have grown very close. Even if he broke up with me everyone treats me like his "current" GF and I am so grateful.
This summer has been hard, but today I live with 3 awesome roommates and I still travel 60km every weekend to see (mainly) Jason's mom and sisters but also all the dear friends he left me with. Everyone is so loving and we all help each other how ever we can...it's beautiful.
The end of the summer has been really confusing too because with no warning whatsoever I have been falling in love with Jason's best friend. Don't think I'm forgetting him or even trying to replace him. Both of these would be impossible ! But we got really close and it just happened. We still need time to figure all of this out so I'm not forcing things, if it has to happen it will...

Thank's for reading and maybe giving me support and advice.
Lot's of love

Cherry

HB

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #188 on: September 25, 2015, 08:17:15 AM »
Hey everyone (again)! My old laptop died, along with the passwords so I could no longer log in. I am HvnBound, widowed on 5/4/12, DH died of heart failure and stroke.

kat717

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #189 on: September 26, 2015, 07:33:56 PM »
Hello All,

My name is Kat, I lost my husband 14 months ago. I am not apart of any other groups, I am not sure if it will help. I just know that it is difficult to know what I feel, and express that feeling to others. Sometimes I feel like I have to suck it up for our kids, his brothers, his family. I know I lost my husband, and they lost their dad, brother, son... I am just having a hard time finding my place in all this. Avoidance has been a close friend through all this. I am just exhausted... and don't want to admit or give in to it, ugh! My life is a movie...

Wheelerswife

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #190 on: September 26, 2015, 11:15:45 PM »
Hi, Kat.

Welcome to the club that nobody wants to belong to.  Here...it is all about you.  You don't have to suck it up for anyone here.  We get it.  I found the precursor to this site just over 6 years ago...about a month after my first husband died.  I don't know how I would have done it without these people, some of whom are now friends.  I invite you to check the place out, read along, jump in where it feels right and even PM someone if their story is something to which you relate.  You need a place where you can be real...and here it is.

Hugs,

Maureen
Life is short.  Love with all you've got. 

Barry 11/29/55-9/22/09       John  1/16/57-1/11/14

Empathy  Developer  Responsibility  Adaptability Connectedness

Justin

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #191 on: September 27, 2015, 08:20:17 AM »
Welcome Kat, I'm glad that you found us. This is my only group, as well - I don't know what I would do without the dear friends that I have made here.

I am just having a hard time finding my place in all this.

The loss of my own identity is probably the hardest thing for me to convey to others that have not lost a spouse. Your whole life and self has been literally blown to hell, and you are left trying to find out who you are now. My daughter and I have been doing our best to embrace change as both it comes and we make it, and it helps us. We both realize that the life we had is gone, but our new one can still be really good,  too.

Take care, and don't be afraid to post as much as you would like.
Marsha 1975-2014

"Love is the province of the brave"

First Widow

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #192 on: September 30, 2015, 01:48:26 PM »
Hello everyone,

I lost my husband of twenty years to suicide a little over four months ago.  I found this site early on and reading here has been a great inspiration to me, but I wasn't ready join in the conversation here back then.  Maybe I wasn't ready to claim the title of widow just yet or maybe I was more concerned with taking care of my grieving children. Now that they are back at school I've had more time to turn my attention toward myself and my future.

I have a daughter who is a sophomore in college and son who's a high school senior looking at colleges.  For the past twenty year's I've run my husband's business (which doesn't exist without him) so now I have a lot to figure out.

I'm so sorry any of us belong here, but I am grateful to have found this site and look forward to getting to know you all better.

"But slowly he stole my broken heart and put the pieces back together while I wasn’t looking…and I love him."

lcoxwell

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #193 on: September 30, 2015, 05:18:29 PM »
First Widow....I am so sorry that you had a reason to join us, but I am glad that you found us. Coming to this site to read and to post has been instrumental in my ability to work through much of the grieving process. You won't find a better group of people than these, anywhere.
"The highest tribute to the dead is not grief but gratitude." - Thornton Wilder

Thank you, my dearest Kenneth, for loving me and for giving me the best 13 years of my life.

mizjsea

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Re: introduce yourself here
« Reply #194 on: October 17, 2015, 04:11:46 PM »
Hello, first post here, but I have been reading. I lost my husband 14 months ago to stage 4 kidney cancer. I can still hardly believe it when I write, say, or think these words. He was the most (seemingly) healthy 55 year old person I knew who had not one single risk factor. He was asymptomatic until Jan 2014 and was gone 7 months later. The news just went from bad to worse, as he was misdiagnosed initially with common kidney cancer which has some (but not much) hope of treatment response. Midway through the ordeal we learned it was a very rare (1%) form, highly aggressive subtype. Despite that news he stayed positive and fearless, which is the way had lived his life 100%. As someone else said on this site, we worked so hard to stay positive for each other and our 2 teens that I don't think we had time to say goodbye or even acknowledge what was coming. He suddenly had a quick downturn, became disoriented, and went fast thankfully without any more horror. It feels like we were going about our life and suddenly some giant hand came out of the sky and plucked him right off the planet. Truly astonishing. It has been so incredibly painful but I am proud I am where I am today. My entire mission has been to make him proud. After month of treading water, life has eased somewhat for me and I want to say thanks for this board and for being able to connect with those who "get it" when you know no one else in similar shoes. And to talk with others who had been so unfairly treated in life.